Underneath the Mango plane me honey

Mango Airlines

Dahlings, As I was waiting for thanksgiving dinner around Augustus’ house, I heard some tittle tattle from some fellow guests about a passenger on South African’ Mango Airline who caused some watery trouble during take off.

Later on and being bored with the guests who were now talking about some talentless Tart wishing to destroy the internet, I made some excuse to leave and research to Mango story. You see, curiosity had the better of me and I HAD to find out if it was Gérard Depardieu up to his old antics again. [Déjà Depardieu vu time? see  In the event of a water landing..]

However, I was shocked to find out it wasn’t a story about our Gallic Gerry, even though the headline and sub-lines sound just like him.

According to the Daily Mail:

Drunken passenger pulls down trousers and urinates in front of passengers on flight… and is made to clean up mess by cabin crew

  • Indecent act occurred on flight from Port Elizabeth to Johannesburg
  • Man urinated in aircraft galley after asking to use toilet during take-off
  • He was told to wait but decided to relieve himself next to cabin crew
  • Man was forced to return to his seat after swearing at crew
  • Passenger was detained by authorities when the plane landed

The article suggested that the flight was delayed by 2 hours in Port Elizabeth, which may/may not have been a factor (but there I go again, expecting news papers to give facts).

Another internet source had a statement by Mango spokesperson Hein Kaiser.

“When the commander of a flight advises travellers to fasten their seatbelts, it is for good reason and is standard operating procedure on airlines the world over,” said Kaiser.

He said all the man had to do, if he was desperate to pee, was ask.

“In rare instances, when a traveller’s need for the lavatory is immediate and the urgency occurs during turbulent conditions, the captain may permit use of the ablution facilities.”

What the heck is “ablution factilities”?

I have not heard this word in this manner before. I always thought ablution was the act of washing oneself in a religious context. It turns our that in Urban dictionaries, ablutions’ is Army slang for ‘washing facilities’ or ‘toilets’.

Ah Ha ! Perhaps it was all a simple misunderstanding of vocabulary.

My old friends George and Ira had a song that fits this situation:

You say Tomayto and I say Tomato.
You say toilet and I say ablution facility.
Ablution facility
Ablution facility
Lets call the whole thing off. [and call in security..]

By now, after reading everything , my glass of Champagne (that was really Cava but don’t tell Augustus I knew) does not look so appealing.

Hey ho, time for  a Gin and Tonic.

Ciao for now, Cleo.


Previously Queen of Egypt and being romantically linked to both Julius Caesar and later Mark Antony, Cleo is master of social politics.. No stranger to courting scandal, Cleo is Roam’s commentator on society and travel. Her Unique 'BC' viewpoint and friends of everybody, Cleo brings a fresh 'AD' way of looking at travel that stodgy old travel media cannot bring.