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Tag Archives for " security "

LaJoy to the World: Meet the new boss – same as the old boss?

Parashoot-flames

The TSA re-organization and former Head of Security, Kelly Hoggan’s new assignment

There’ll be 1000 screen agents standing around.
1000 screen agents, standing around
and if one screen agent should accidentally fall be pushed.
there’ll be 999 screen agents, standing around.

And so it is then that we bid farewell to head of security for TSA, Kelly Hoggan who has been removed from his position after the fiasco in excessive pre-security lines. He has been replaced by Darby LaJoye, who is currently deputy assistant administrator. LaJoye was previously federal security director of and LAX and JFK.

LAX and JFK – that sounds really impressive doesn’t it? Except for some small details. In a poll by ‘Travel and Leisure‘, LAX was voted #2 worst airport (ranked 21st for check-in and security process) and JFK was slightly better in #4 worst airport (“Ease of getting a taxi may be the best thing to be said about JFK. You will wait—and wait—in check-in and security lines..”).

What’s in a name? Plenty if the airport WIFI is called “Detonation Device”

Sign languageDahlings, it has been such a long time (2 days) since we’ve posted something concerning Australia , so let’s tell give you something to keep you going.

A Quantas flight at Melbourne airport was evacuated after a passenger noted the name of a WiFi hotspot was “Mobile Detonation device”. She naturally notified the flight crew who in turn called in airport security. From UK’s “Daily Telegraph

Security officials checked the plane but were unable to find a threat and cleared the flight to leave.

“The pilot said a particular passenger had gone to log on and a hotspot name has come up with one which was a scare to Qantas and passengers,” a passenger told Channel Seven.

“The pilot made us aware and said they were going to take proper security precautions… After half an hour no one came forward, the Wi-Fi covered a fair distance so [it] could have been someone in the terminal.”

Qantas offered to transfer concerned passengers to alternative flights.

An estimated fifty passengers – about half of those on board – opted to take a different flight.

Not surprisingly, nobody volunteered to be behind the prank. A Quantas spokesman said ‘he believed the scare was caused by “some immature person, possibly in the terminal”’.

So let me put on my serious typing tone and remind you that “Security is not a laughing matter”. I am shocked (not really but I need to say that…) I tell you that someone always spoils it for the rest of them.

At the very least they have attempted to make it a profanity instead but there again, this is Australia and profanities are daily speech in some circles though Australians usually do come up with a different way of naming things (For example, Who else would name a horse “Bill the Bastard“?)

That being said, here are some prior submissions too give you pranksters some ideas:

Some humorous Wi-Fi names that should not cause security alert

Ciao for now,
Cleo.

The Paris Attack

It is now reported as 100+ dead as I type. The attack was on young people enjoying themselves : A Concert hall, Restuarants and Stade de France sports stadium.

You cowardly miserable bastards.

I was looking at visiting France next summer: It is now a definite.

Artiller(y) the Han

A case study in how to get arrested

A case study in how to get arrested: Man with a funny shaped object caused a Kerfuffle at Xiamen airport.

Dahlings, when I wrote about the teenager who brought bomb shaped clock to Toronto airport in his hand luggage, I thought it was the hormones taking over the common sense part of the brain.

After all, no right minded adult would carry anything looking like a bomb in their hand carry onto an airplane would they?

Except Chen Liang, aged 39, tried to do exactly that in Xiamen Airport when he brought a souvenir which was empty artillery shell in his hand carry. What is more, after he was arrested he couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about. Continue reading..

Teen’s alarming clock sets off security scare

Tweet from Canada's Peel Police.

Tweet from Canada’s Peel Police advising not to bring things which look suspicious to the airport.

Dahlings, What is it with some teenagers when it come to air travel?

Back in July, we had 16 year old James McElvar (see my post) who didn’t want to pay for carry on luggage so wore four layers of clothes. He then blacked out on the plane due to heat exhaustion.

Now I hear about a 15 year old teen who took his alarm clock with him in hand luggage in Toronto Pearson airport.

“What’s wrong with that Cleo?” you ask. Continue reading..

‘Pour le merite’ : Congratulations to the Arras heroes

Arras Train hero's receiving Legion of Honor

Arras Train hero’s receiving Legion d’honneur

Well, One thing you can say about the French is that they didn’t waste any time in handing out the honors.

Receiving the Legion d’honneur (Legion of Honor) from President François Hollande at the Élysée Palace today was:

  • Anthony Sadler, US
  • Spencer Stone, US
  • Alek Skarlatos, US
  • Chris Norman, UK

The details of another hero which has come through is Mark , a 51 year old French American. Moogalian was the person who wrestled away the Kalishnokov but was shot in the neck (not the banker that was previously reported). He will receive the same award at a later date when he recovers.

However, the role and identity of the French banker ‘Dominic’ remains a bit mysterious.

 

No 72 Virgins for you: Train massacre foiled by brave passengers

US Airman Spencer Stone leaving hospital Photo: Reuters

It is fantastic news about the passengers who overpowered the ISIS terrorist on the French train.

More of the story is coming out where not only were the US young men heroes for tackling the gunman, but there is a 28 year old French banker, who had wrestled away the Kalishnikov before the gunman pulled out his luger to continue his attack. The banker was shot in the chest where he is now in intensive care but in “serious but stable” condition. We wish that person (who wishes to remain anonymous) a speedy recovery

The bravery of all these men prevented a bloodbath. These are true heroes where we tend to overuse it for anyone wearing a uniform.

A Hero should be used exclusively for heroic actions. Continue reading..

Kids toy banned as a weapon of gas destruction

The despicable me 2 fart blaster.

The ‘Despicable me 2 fart blaster’ is now on the do not fly list

Bloody airport security. Wot they gonna confiscate next eh? Fart guns that’s wot !

Yeh, that’s wot ‘appened to little Leo Fitzpatrick aged 3 when his Minions ‘fart blaster’ not allowed on flight as it has a trigger where rules classify it as replica weapon.

Oi Security at Dublin Airport. Bugger Off and catch real security threats like those terris’ts pretending to be Grannies.

PS: I don’t know about kids toys but I know some people (Clodius – I’m talking to you) whose real life flatulence would count a chemical warfare especially on a plane.

PPS: Walmart has the offending item for $16.99. For an optional $2.00 you can get a 2 year warranty. How useful is that !

Knock Knock. Who’s there? Hazmat

Nice and Sneezey.

Nice and Sneezey.

Dahlings, After sneezing on US Airways Flight 845 from Philedelphia to Punta Cana, a man allegedly joked to seatmates “I have Ebola. You’re all screwed”. Everybody laughed heartily and that was the end of that.

Oh wait a minute, I think I got something wrong.

What actually happened was that the plane was met in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic by a Hazmat crew. Everybody was delayed by about 2 hours while the four man Hazmat team inspected the plane. The man was led away for medical testing where it was captured on video.

As the health crews got to the joking passenger, he can be heard on the video saying: “I was just kidding. I ain’t from Africa.”

Passengers can be heard booing when the man was eventually escorted off the flight.

I agree. I would have booed also: “I ain’t from Africa” is a terrible punchline. Hasn’t he seen ‘The Aristocrats‘?

Ciao for now, Cleo.