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You’re talking the Mickey

Gospel according to Mick

Oi Roamans, my Favorite corporate leader Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary has spoken again. This time he wants to shoot the cyclists of Dublin.

From cyclingweekly.co.uk:

He may have been speaking at the Creative Minds conference in Dublin, but Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary won’t win any creativity awards for his thoughts on what to do with cyclists.

The outspoken Irishman hit out at Dublin City Council’s plans to make the city a more appealing place for cyclists.

“That’s all we need in Dublin is more blooming bicycles,” he said, reported in the Irish Independent. “In a country where it rains about 250 days a year, the way forward for Dublin is more bicycles.

“Let’s just go back to walking altogether. Soon we’ll be living in caves designed by Dublin City Council. Traffic won’t work, there’s nowhere to park the cars and yet this is a smarter way forward.

“We should take the cyclists out and shoot them.”

…..

He added: “I want to drive and I expect Dublin City [Council] to come up with a smarter way for me to get around Dublin and be able to park my car somewhere in the middle of Dublin without it being dug up every six weeks so we can have some other faddy non sustainable public transport solution.”

This is the same Micheal who got himself a Taxi company with one car (but never accepted any fairs for anyone other than himself) in order to use the fast lanes in Dublin. Noice !!

Micheal O’Leary is INFAMOUS. Some things attributed to him in 2009 (The Guardian):

On charging for using the toilet
“All this pious stuff about … you can’t charge for entering the toilet. All right then, we’ll charge you to exit the toilets.”

On charging for using the toilet (part two)
“If someone wanted to pay £5 to go to the toilet I would carry them myself. I would wipe their bums for a fiver.”

On the company that runs Stansted airport
“A bunch of overcharging rapists.”

On opening up new routes
“I don’t give a toss where people want to go. I’m in the business of creating a market for people to go where they have never heard of.”

On launching a Frankfurt route
“Jürgen [Weber, Lufthansa chairman] says Germans don’t like low fares. How the fuck does he know? The Germans will crawl bollock-naked over broken glass to get them.”

On Ryanair’s no-refund policy
“What part of no refund don’t you understand? You are not getting a refund so fuck off.”

On the recession (in Feb 2008)
“We would welcome a good, deep, bloody recession in this country for 12 to 18 months … It would help see off the environmental nonsense.”

On environmentalists
“We want to annoy the fuckers … The best thing we can do with environmentalists is shoot them … They are luddites marching us back to the 18th century.”

On women
“If you want to stay on your knees, by all means I’d encourage you … Sorry, I’ve forgotten the question … there was a very pretty girl on her knees there in front of me.”

On himself
“I don’t give a shit if nobody likes me.”

Other things he has said over the years:

  • “The French have never produced a great philosopher. Great wine maybe, but no great philosophers.”
  • “If drink sales are falling off, we get the pilots to engineer a bit of turbulence. That usually spikes sales.”
  • On passengers who forget to print their boarding passes: “We think they should pay €60 for being so stupid.”
  • “Anyone who thinks Ryanair flights are some sort of bastion of sanctity where you can contemplate your navel is wrong. We already bombard you with as many in-flight announcements and trolleys as we can. Anyone who looks like sleeping, we wake them up to sell them things.”
  • “Ryanair brings lots of different cultures to the beaches of Spain, Greece and Italy, where they couple and copulate in the interests of pan-European peace.”
  • “One thing we have looked at is maybe putting a coin slot on the toilet door, so that people might actually have to spend a pound to spend a penny in the future. Pay-per-pee. If someone wanted to pay £5 to go to the toilet, I’d carry them myself. I would wipe their bums for a fiver.”
  • “Do we carry rich people on our flights? Yes, I flew on one this morning and I’m very rich.”
  • To a Ryanair employee who dared to join the Twitter Q&A: “Get back to work you slacker or you’re fired.”
  • Opening a press conference to announce Ryanair’s annual results: “I’m here with Howard Millar and Michael Cawley, our two deputy chief executives. But they’re presently making love in the gentleman’s toilets, such is their excitement at today’s results.”
  • On why his bride arrived 35 minutes late for their wedding: “She’s coming here with Aer Lingus.”
  • “You’re not getting a refund so fuck off. We don’t want to hear your sob stories. What part of ‘no refund’ don’t you understand?”
  • “Screw the travel agents. Take the fuckers out and shoot them. What have they done for passengers over the years?”
  • “Why are we carrying 81 million passengers if we’re this terrible? We have the lowest fares, we have brand-new aircraft, we have the most on-time flights. It sounds like kind of a fucking Mormon Moonie session but we do.”
  • “The most influential person in Europe in the last 20 to 30 years has been Margaret Thatcher. Without her we’d all be living in some French bloody unemployed republic.”
  • “We want to annoy the fuckers whenever we can. The best thing you can do with environmentalists is shoot them. These headbangers want to make air travel the preserve of the rich. They are luddites marching us back to the 18th century. If preserving the environment means stopping poor people flying so the rich can fly, then screw it.”
  • On the British Airways/Iberia merger: “It reminds me of two drunks leaning on each other.”
  • “MBA students come out with: ‘My staff is my most important asset.’ Bullshit. Staff is usually your biggest cost. We all employ some lazy bastards who needs a kick up the backside, but no one can bring themselves to admit it.”
  • His response to the first questioner, a woman, during a live Twitter Q&A: “Nice pic. Phwoaaarr! MOL”
  • “All flights are fuelled with Leprechaun wee and my bullshit!”
  • “If global warming meant temperatures rose by one or two degrees, France would become a desert, which would be no bad thing. The Scots would grow wine and make buffalo mozzarella.”
  • “I’m Europe’s most underpaid and underappreciated boss. I’m paid about 20 times more than the average Ryanair employee and I think the gap should be wider.”
  • On Bertie Ahern: “I’m disrespectful towards authority. I think the prime minister of Ireland is a gobshite”
  • “The airline industry is full of bullshitters, liars and drunks. We excel at all three in Ireland.”
  • “The airline business is it is mostly run by a bunch of spineless nincompoops who actually don’t want to stand up to the environmentalists and call them the lying wankers that they are.”
  • “People either see me as Jesus, Superman or an odious little shit. I think I’m Jesus. A prophet in his own time.
  • “Ryanair’s biggest achievement? Bringing low fares to Europe and still lowering ’em. Biggest failure? Hiring me.”
  • On a bomb scare in Scotland: “The police force were outstanding in their field. But all they did was stand in their field. They kept passengers on board while they played with a suspect package for two and three quarter hours. Extraordinary.”
  • “I should get the Nobel peace prize – screw Bono.”
  • “Nobody wants to sit beside a really fat bastard on board. We have been frankly astonished at the number of customers who not only want to tax fat people but torture them.”
  • “I don’t give a shit if no one likes me. I’m not a cloud bunny or an aerosexual. I don’t like aeroplanes. I never wanted to be a pilot like those other platoons of goons who populate the airline industry.”

Finally, there is this press conference where Micheal talks about doing a Transatlantic flight option. Pay attention to the features of Business Class option.

LURVE IT  !!!! Top man Micheal.

Cali.

French air strike strands Easter get aways

A futile attempt against French air traffic controller strikes?

A futile attempt against French air traffic controller strikes?

And what a week it has been. The Brussels bombing was awful news but we will talk about this elsewhere.

However, some things are European business as usual such as air traffic control in France going on strike around a holiday. AGAIN. For those new to Roads-2-Roam, this is all too familiar pattern and covered our prior posts ‘FRANCE STRIKES. AGAIN’ and before that ‘FRANCE : A LAND OF STRIKING BEAUTY. A LAND OF STRIKING WORKERS.’

Of course, this has the usual consequences of stranding thousands of passengers whose flights needs to pass through French airspace. The passengers of budget airlines, EasyJet and Rynair, are particularly put out by these event. They are also getting an eye opener in what limited support such airlines offer – you’ll get a rescheduled flight back but not necessarily when you need it. You are probably on the hook for your unexpected accommodation unless you want to sleep at the airport.

From the Daily Mirror:

Tessa Hargrove, 35, was left in limbo in Marrakech after she and her 67-year-old mum, Helen Stephenson, were told their flights were cancelled by text at 10.30pm on Sunday night.

Tessa said: “Ryanair needs to give us more information, a text on the night before when there’s no other information is not good enough, they said they would send us an email but that didn’t come until 2.11pm, four hours after we were meant to get on a flight.”

Tessa and her mum were forced to queue for hours to find out what was going on.

She said: “The Ryanair people at check in were just crossing you off so they could send you to a hotel and the other desk was about an hour and a half queue to find out your options.

“You can get a free flight back to the UK but the first one we were offered by the time we got to the front was one on Thursday to Luton or on Friday to Stansted where we were meant to be flying to. “My mum and I were dashing from queue to the next so we didn’t lose our places. There weren’t enough people for you to actually speak to. Someone else spent ages queuing on the phone to try and speak to them.”

Tessa needed to get back for her work with a company which sells scientific equipment to research labs so booked to fly back on Wednesday online with easyJet costing £500.

She is now worried she will not be able to get on the flight because staff at the easyJet desk in Marrakesh told her that flight was already fully booked on their systems.

According to Ryanair this is the 41st such strike since 2009. Robin Kiely, head of communications at Ryanair said “It’s grossly unfair that thousands of ordinary European consumers have their travel and holiday plans disrupted by the actions of a selfish few. We also encourage any affected customers to sign our online petition, Keep Europe’s Skies Open.”.

Ryanair has said it plans to present it to the EU Commission and the EU parliament once it has attracted 1m signatures.

“As a member of Airlines for Europe ( ), we are working with other airlines including Air France KLM, Finnair, International Airlines Group (IAG), Lufthansa Group, Norwegian and Ryanair, to call on governments and the EU to develop an action plan to minimise the impact of ATC strikes on passengers.”

Here is the link to their petition : keepeuropesskiesopen.com .  I remain skeptical about Brussel’s willingness to act of it.

Our message to the French Air traffic controllers..

The Roaman anti-greeting.

Those damned French Air traffic controllers: Feed them to the Lions. Again.


 

Some links for further information of A4E

Champagne cork pops EasyJet’s bubble

EasyJet deals

EasyJet “Champagne” selection. Maybe they should stick to beer.

Dahlings, after all these planes making emergency landing due to hail, another flight by UK’s EasyJet on the way from London to Turkey had to make an emergency landing in Milan, Italy.

The reason being it was damaged by a champagne cork.

One couple had ordered a bottle of champagne and after the flight attendant opened it, the cork smashed through ceiling panels causing all the oxygen masks to fall ! After that the pilot diverted to Italy to make emergency repairs. Continue reading..

In the heat of the moment

James McElvar: a bit overdressed for his travels

Dahlings, yet another pop star wanna be, James McElvar from ‘boyband’ REWIND, passed out on an EasyJet flight and violently threw up on board. An ambulance was called and after treatment, McElvar thankfully turned out ok.

The EasyJet was going from Stanstead to Jimmy’s home town of Glasgow.

This story was absolutely shocking in that it was NOT about the Stereotype Scotsman getting paralytic drunk by mid afternoon and passing out.

NOR was it about another Stereotype of an unruly misunderstood pop star diva experiencing the uhm, high life.

Instead, we need to keep an open mind. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the evidence:

  • The reason Jimmy passed out was due to heat exhaustion.
  • The reason Jimmy had heat exhaustion was that he was wearing 12 layers of clothes.
  • The reason Jimmy was wearing 12 layer of clothes was that he didn’t want to to pay £45 to check in one of his pieces of hand luggage.

Move along there now. No Scottish Stereotypes to see here. Aye, right!

Ciao for now,
Cleo.

Nero’s “Kate Moss” music compilation

Which is which?Cleopatra’s post and her visual joke implying Kate Moss looks like Brian Jones from the Rolling Stones (I kind of agree) had me thinking of a “Kate Moss” Compilation.

So Roamans and without much ado, let’s start the top 10 in reverse order. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did.  Click the “+” item to drop down the music video.


# 10 West End Girls - Pet Show Boys

 

 

# 9 Nice and Easy - Frank Sinatra

 

# 8 Cocaine- Eric Clapton

 

# 7 I fought the law - Bobby Fuller Four

#6 Drunken Sailor - Irish Rovers

#5 Girls on Film - Duran Duran

#4 Whiskey in the Jar - Thin Lizzy

#3 Anarchy in the UK - Sex Pistols

#2 Luton Airport- Cats UK

# 1 Oh you Pretty Things - David Bowie