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Cha-Cha-Changes: You’re Gro-Gro-Grounded

All was not dandy on an AA flight to Chicago

All was not dandy on an AA flight

Dahlings, I guess being a dedicated follower of fashion through out the day isn’t the thing to do anymore as Mr Jermiah Thede found out when he changed his clothes three times.

Three times – What is wrong with that Cleo?

Well, it’s a bit of a perception problem if you are doing it during a transatlantic flight from Rome to Chicago in plebeian class while you have not been on double secret probation for not behaving yourself. Apparently, Mr Thede had angrily told the American Airline FA he could ‘have all the F’ing peanuts and crackers’ he wanted to. That’s not asking nicely in my book.

From the daily mail:

[The FA] ..claimed Thede had come back to the galley area of the economy section a short time after take-off, when the seat belt sign was on, and asked for peanuts and crackers. He was given the snacks on that occasion but when he returned a short time later, Ms Hall said she told him there was only one snack per passenger. 

Ms Hall claimed Thede became enraged and pointed his finger at her face. ‘I felt like my heart was pounding, that something wasn’t right with him,’ she said. She added: ‘He started shouting at me before I could even finish my sentence.’ 

Asked to characterise his demeanour, Ms Hall said: ‘He seemed extremely angry and it was just not normal behaviour.’ The flight attendant with almost 30 years of experience told the court she expressed concern to the head flight attendant that ‘somebody was going to get hurt’.

And the dirt continues.

The relief pilot, who is legally required to sleep during the first three hours of the flight, described being woken twice and asked to deal with Thede, something that he claims ‘never happens.’ There could potentially be a time bomb on board. Do you want to deal with it on the ground or in the air, given that we were about to coast out?

Complaints included allegedly ‘staring’ at a female passenger and invading her personal space. Thede, who had changed his clothes a number of times and was standing up rummaging through his bag in the overhead bin, had been given three warnings to change his conduct, the court was told.

‘I just felt that the crew members’ duties had been interfered with enough, we were reaching the point there we were coasting out and once you are over the Atlantic there are not a lot of places to land. ‘It’s better to offload this gentleman and continue with this flight.’
The court heard there was no evidence that Thede’s actions were part of a wider distraction plot and shortly after the captain announced the plane was being diverted he appeared to be asleep. 

He was only woken when police officers escorted him off, it was claimed.

The flight had diverted to Belfast where Mr. Thede was booted off and this is where the trial is. The helpfully explains Mr Thede’s clothes:

‘Thede, dressed in a light grey suit and white shirt, listened from the dock as Ms Hall gave evidence.’

What ? He didn’t change 3 times? Shocking behavior.

Perhaps if AA have served Macademia nuts in cups instead of Peanuts, not of this would have happened. See Heather Cho.

Ciao for now,



Cranberries and nuts

Up there with Caligula - Dolores O'Riordan

Up there with Caligula – Dolores O’Riordan

Dahlings, I am sure you’ve all been waiting to find out what happened to our friend Dotty, from the Cranberries and her tête–à–tête incident with the Police at Shannon’s airport.

Let me put you out of your misery.  From the Daily Mail

“Dolores O’Riordan was fined 6,000 euro (£4,690) for head-butting and spitting on a police officer following an alleged air rage incident.


The singer, who was diagnosed as suffering bipolar disorder after the incident, admitted four offences including three assaults and obstructing a garda.  As she was being arrested, the 44-year-old The Voice of Ireland judge told officers that she was an ‘icon’ and the Queen of Limerick.

Oh my. Queen of Limerick? Ok then, a Limerick in your honor you highness.

There was a girl called O’Riordan,

who flew from New York to the Shann’n

Up in flight,

she caused a big fight,

but was let off with a fine of 6 thousan’..

I’m a poet. And I didn’t even know it.

Ciao for now,

Frequent Fight downgrade

Aldo and McGregor

Pugilists Aldo and McGregor demonstrate JetBlue’s new in flight entertainment system.

Dahlings, a recent JetBlue airline was turned around 25 minutes into the flight. The reason was a fight between two passengers.

Oh what’s so special about that Cleo as it seems to happen pretty regular these days?

Well they were a bunch of Irish men.

So, isn’t that a bit stereotypical?

I should mention that they were on their way to Vegas.

Hmm. But they were on their way TO Vegas not coming from it.

..Yes that’s correct. They were part of a big crowd traveling to support fellow Irishman Conor McGregor in the upcoming MMA match against Jose Aldo this coming Saturday.

Ah makes a bit of sense now.

But wait there is more. I almost forgot about an Irish prior passenger being kicked off for interrupting the safety announcements by singing which then delayed the flight quite a bit since the result was they missed the take off slot.

This is a beautiful story so I’ll let passenger Damien Coyne tell it.


Speaking to MailOnline about the fight on board, Mr Coyne said he was ’embarrassed and angry’ over the incident that saw the plane return to New York. He also spoke of how the flight was already delayed out of The Big Apple when one man was removed because he kept interrupting the safety briefing.

‘I’m sitting in between a group of Americans on the flight and I heard them stereotyping the Irish when all of the drunken Irish lads got on.

‘I was angry listening to them talking about us in that way, then these two separate incidents happened and it’s these types of situations which do us no favours around the world.’

Mr Coyne, who lives in Kildare in Ireland, shared details of the incidents on Facebook. ‘These other two Irish lads start kicking off at each other,’ he wrote.

‘Got very heated and one guy despite everyone on the plane shouting at him to sit down, struck out and threw a few slaps at the other lad. ‘Flight crew go mad, separate the two fellas and now we are on our way back to JFK again.’

Mr Coyne alleges that the two men were ‘drunk’ and says that they ruined it for ‘themselves and for everybody else.

‘Moral of the story here lads, drink by all means and have a good time. But know the one that’s too many, and look out for each other.’

Yes Damien. There’s always one who ruins it for everyone else. Or maybe two. Wait make that three just like a clover leaf.


Ciao for now,

Hawaii Five oh !

Kirsten looking very Sharp !

Kirsten looking very Sharp !

Dahlings, HAWAII NEWS NOW (ok, ok, I’ll stop shouting but that is from their logo) has an exclusive story about a 34 year old Realtor, Kirsten Sharp from Kona Hawaii, who was detained by the FBI for interfering with a flight attendant on a budget airline, Allegiant flight.

Witnesses are saying that Ms. Sharp used an e-cigarette as she entered the aircraft in Las Vegas, and an FA told her to put it out, which she did.

After take off, the same witnesses said Kirsten started vaping again in the front seat and was again told by the FA to put it out. She later crept off into the lav for a secret puff. Continue reading..

33 chinese tourists blacklisted after not so patriot singing

PLA song and dance troup doing a musical about airport etiquette: "Dude where's my plane"

PLA song and dance troup practicing for their vacation trip where they are learning the art of complaining.

Dahlings, you have to hand it to the Chinese.

When some 100 or so Chinese nationals got a 10 hour delay by Orient Thai Airlines, they refused to board plane, demanded a public apology, demanded compensation and insisted the airline use a ‘larger’ plane to fly them home.

In a rebel style so uncharacteristic of the normally restrained Chinese, they then broke out in song.

Ah, how romantic. Continue reading..

Thank you for flying Van Gogh Earlines

New look of the Jet2 set

New look of the Jet2 set

Darlings, last year almost to the day, I wrote about UK budget airline Jet2 where a promotion to give out free air tickets caused a massive brawl instead. [See Fight Club Class]

This time the story Jet2 is in the news with a passenger who had his ear bitten off while flying from Newcastle to Ibiza. It happened just as the plane was about to land.

From the Daily Mail:

One passenger told the Daily Mirror that the victim ran to the front of the plane when it landed covered in blood, with ‘half his ear just hanging off’.

He added: ‘It was a relief to get off and an absolutely horrible thing to happen in a confined space in front of families.’

Another witness told the paper: ‘It was absolutely sickening. To bite someone’s ear off on a plane packed with other people at such close quarters and with families sitting around him is absolutely appalling, people were getting off the plane complaining of feeling physically sick.’

Not sure why they are bringing families into it as if it there were no kids around, it would it be ok but that is Geordies for you, a hard bunch.

You know what Dahlings, they really should look at giving out peanuts like their US Cousins Southwest does to keep hunger at bay. It seems to help as you never see this sort of thing across the pond.

Ciao for now,

PS: I still love the Jet2 logo.

Jet2 Logo: Unfriendly low passengers !

Reality: Unfriendly low passengers !

Model Behaviour. Not so Super.

Not Kate but he gathered no moss. She somewhat looks like him…

Dahlings, Have you heard the scandal about Kate, the model aboard an EasyJet flight?

I refer not to Kim K’s new step mom who graced Vanity Fair, but Kate Moss the super model who according to the Daily Mail, was met by Bedfordshire Constabulary upon landing in Luton Airport. Apparently Ms Moss was reported as being rather ‘excitable’ on the EasyJet flight where she was rumored to have been swigging vodka from her own personal supply. Calling out the Old Bill for drunk passengers sampling their BYOA is a standard practice for UK bound aircraft.

I was horrified reading this. Afterall, isn’t a top model supposed to be drinking Champagne?

By the way, what  is she doing flying EasyJet? I guess EasyJet let’s anybody on these days. Still if it good enough for Brad and Angelina, and  HRH Prince Billy to fly with the plebs, who am I to criticize ?

Apparently, as Kate was being led away, she called the Pilot the double barreled B Word. OOOHHHH !! She called the pilot a “Basic Bitch”.

Huh you say? “Basic Bitch” is a trendy US put down line for “riff raff”.

Oh, Kate Dahling, you shouldn’t have. Such witty repartee is wasted on the EasyJet crowd – they were going to Luton afterall – You should have reserved this for your cultured “in” crowd.

The best laugh to this story was a Grauniad feminarticle by Suzanne Moore titled “If your idea of hell is sitting next to Kate Moss on an easyJet flight, you must be dead inside”. The gist of it was:

Women cannot enjoy themselves, especially charming and tipsy ones, without provoking outrage and moralising.

One of Ms Moore’s argument was that she wasn’t as bad as some other Male stars – Ian Brown of the Stone Roses, REM’s Peter Buck, Conrad Hilton of “Fucking Peasant’s quote, or our favorite wizman, Gerard Depardeu which Trajan talked about previously. Thus Moore’s logic being that anybody who didn’t like women behaving badly in public, hated women. QED, Easyjet flight attendents , who are also likely to be female, are also haters. Uh ok, Suzzy.

As usual, the best thing as usual about any Guardian pieces are the educated comments. One wag picked up on the men hating theme and termed it “Moss-ogyny”.

Now THAT is what I call wit. It’s Basic. Bitches.

Ciao for Now,

The pen in mightier than the snored

Dahlings, I am sure most of us Roamans have taken a nap on a plane or a train. That nap, is not without it’s perils.

One of my dear friends, Whittikus, would regularly fall to sleep on the train when coming back from Londinium. While asleep, a fellow passenger relieved him of his laptop bag. Twice this happened and while his company was understanding, he did acquire a new nickname: Napkin.

I am sure also, that some of you have snored. Another of my dear friends, Bax Britania, fell asleep on a Portugal beach. When he woke up,  the people around him burst into a round of applause and cheering. His snoring was legendary.

However, nobody expects to be stabbed awake which is exactly what happened to Lenny Madarski, 68 who nodded off while still on the runway of a Southwest flight from Chicago Midway to New Hampshire. Continue reading..

Flying XXX class

Vintage fun and japes in the travel industry

Vintage fun and japes in the travel industry

Dahlings, Yet more air rage and I ask myself Why can’t we all fly in peace?
Well thank gawd we don’t as I’d have less to laugh about !

This time the story is..how do I put it so that the delicate ears of Augustus can be protected, about an alternative actress, Tory Lane who was arrested at LAX for suspicion of disrupting a flight and fighting with the crew. The actress was charged on battery charges in addition to public intoxication.

Never heard of her? Neither had I although Caligula’s smirk became very big when I read her name.

A little googling introduces me to Tory Lane:

“ToryLane.com is the official website of the dirtiest girl in porn. Tory Lane has no limits as she is the ultimate fantasy of every man who enjoys high-energy sex.”

Oh I am in all of a flutter after reading this: I thought I was the ultimate fantasy.

Investigating some of the movies that Ms. Lane has made, I see one called “When Porn Stars Attack”. No kidding.

A look at her twitter account, shows that her career cannot be that successful.  If she had that much money then surely she would be able to buy more clothes. Poor thing, maybe we should start up a gofundeme campaign.

Feb 15th tweet shows she loves LAX on a Sunday as it accompanied with a picture of a wheat beer. (No fruit I notice)

https://twitter.com/misstorylane/status/567037901939027968 [EDIT 6/5/15 – TWITTER ACCOUNT HAS BEEN DELETED]

Feb 19th, she Tweets ” I need to be FUCKED”

Fast forward to 20th, she was.

Careful what you wish for.
Ciao for now, Cleo.

PS: Feb 21st Ms Lane tweeted “There’s always 2 sides to every story”. After seeing her website and some of  her ‘movies’, I was thinking 2 sides… is that all?

Well Hello Dolly. You’re in jail, Dolly. Leader singer from Cranberries arrested after landing

Dahlings, my friend Dolores O’Riordan has caused a stir on board a Aer Lingus plane from JFK to Shannon. Turns out she is accused of assaulting a flight attendant causing a fractured foot. Dolly was arrested upon arrival in Shannon and reportedly headbutted a Garda officer.

You may know Dolly as the lead singer from her band, “The Cranberries”. They has a hit with the little ditty Zombie’.

How I chuckled as I remembered some of the lyrics:

..But you see, it’s not me, it’s not my family.
In your head, in your head they are fighting.

Then there is another hit, ‘Linger’.

I’m sure I’m not being rude
But it’s just your attitude
It’s tearing me apart
It’s ruining everything

Not one to talk about stereotypes, but I would be shocked I tell you, if I find out that someone from Ireland had over indulged with alcohol.
Ciao for now, Cleo.