Cleopatra

Dahlings, the Fyre Festival is  the perfect example of why you should NOT believe everything you read over the internet. In an attempt to capitalize on Coachella, Fyre billed itself as “The best in Food, Art, Music and Adventure” where it positioned itself as a Luxury Music festival is a Bahamas for the young, beautiful […]

Dahlings, This week is Holy week (Easter to the rest of the Christian world) to my Philippine friends which is THE biggest holiday in their calendar. It is so big, some of them turn up their piety to a eleven or even a twelve. A few even volunteer to be crucified with some doing it […]

Dahlings, somewhat bored with writing about high flying chief executives getting in air rage incidents, I have decided to write about something else. My next topic is something completely different : it is one about a high flying chief executive in a road rage incident! The attached video is the CEO of Uber, Travis Kalanick, having an argument […]

Dahlings, I have another tale of someone getting kicked off a flight. What was it for this time Cleo? It was for taking a picture.  and what’s wrong with that? He took it of a flight attendant. I still don’t get it.  Why was he kicked off for taking a picture of a flight attendant? It was […]

Dahlings, there is a follow up to my post ‘Making America great..In London” where an artist Illma Gore, painted a nude Donald Trump where it is hanging (or not so hanging if you read the story) in a London art gallery which in turn, has become a tourist attraction. Apparently, it is showing in the UK rather […]

Dahlings, it has been such a long time (2 days) since we’ve posted something concerning Australia , so let’s tell give you something to keep you going. A Quantas flight at Melbourne airport was evacuated after a passenger noted the name of a WiFi hotspot was “Mobile Detonation device”. She naturally notified the flight crew who in turn called in […]

Dahlings, Have you seen Johnny Depps and Amber Heard’s new film? Is it Caribbean Pirate adventure Cleo? That has some relevance but nope. What about An Alice in Wonderland II? That was a strange movie wasn’t it but nope. Let me put you out of your misery as I don’t think you are going to […]

Dahlings, An LA artist Ilma Gore, has made a picture of Donald Trump and it’s is not in sidewalk chalk. Ah, there’s nice you may say for a fan to paint a picture of their hero. There’s a bit more to the story than that – she painted him naked.  Yes – starkers; Nude;In his birthday suite; in […]

Dahlings, I guess being a dedicated follower of fashion through out the day isn’t the thing to do anymore as Mr Jermiah Thede found out when he changed his clothes three times. Three times – What is wrong with that Cleo? Well, it’s a bit of a perception problem if you are doing it during a transatlantic […]

Dahlings,  this is week when it showed the limitations of why you should not ask the Plebeians what they want – you may not like the smell of having to deal with them. And no, I don’t that silly election thing with ‘Little Hands / Large Manifesto’ Donald, ‘BusTED’ Cruz, ‘I did not not have textual relations […]

Dahlings, Back on 2nd February, those sharing revolutionaries Uber changed their  flag logo. From a “U”, it is now a square-dot-plus-squiggle that communicates the meaning of Uber. What the heck – this looks almost like the hieroglyphics I used a few centuries before texting was invented. It is a clear as their fare policy. From a complete puff piece by wired: […]

Dahlings, I am sure you’ve all been waiting to find out what happened to our friend Dotty, from the Cranberries and her tête–à–tête incident with the Police at Shannon’s airport. Let me put you out of your misery.  From the Daily Mail “Dolores O’Riordan was fined 6,000 euro (£4,690) for head-butting and spitting on a police […]

Dahlings, Have a dispute about your hotel bill? Maybe you should go down to the front desk and dispute it but the advice to get it resolved is remember to keep it civil. Tell that to John Parsley who after apparently having his card being declined twice, he drove his pickup through the hotel lobby […]

Dahlings, a recent JetBlue airline was turned around 25 minutes into the flight. The reason was a fight between two passengers. Oh what’s so special about that Cleo as it seems to happen pretty regular these days? Well they were a bunch of Irish men. So, isn’t that a bit stereotypical? I should mention that […]

As I took a Saturday walk around my hotel at Camp John Hays, I spotted a sign which said “Cemetery of Negativism”. Cleo, you’ve got to see that I said you myself so up I climbed a horrible hill in hot humid conditions which brought me to the old Governor’s house. 60 pesos later, I am […]

Dahlings, I’m just looking at my photographs from my Philippines jaunt. On the final flight back it was Hello Kitty on Steroids. The flight over just had graphics on the outside. As you can see. Hello Kitty Seats, food, Attendants and even in the restroom, there was no escaping it just like you said Caligula. I loved […]

Dahlings, I know you’ve all been worried sick about me so I should update you on my little business trip in the Philippines. It turned out that the others who were flying to meet me, bailed on me after looking at the weather alert. Something about a Super-typhoon being one of the worst ever made them […]

Dahlings, it seems the only time I read a paper version of a newspaper is when I eat breakfast in hotels. So what did the Philippine Star have to say on Oct 15th while I munched away my cornflakes. I tittered so over the headline”Mirian picks Bongbong” which is as I said last year, not some […]

Dahlings, I am roaming in The Philippines to conduct some biz. And just for the heck of it – and to annoy Caligula – I flew EVA AIR.  While outgoing flight was regular one, the connecting flight was a “Hello Kitty” theme. Actually, we all know I am not THAT shallow. I chose the airline for price […]

Dahlings, when I wrote about the teenager who brought bomb shaped clock to Toronto airport in his hand luggage, I thought it was the hormones taking over the common sense part of the brain. After all, no right minded adult would carry anything looking like a bomb in their hand carry onto an airplane would they? […]

Dahlings, HAWAII NEWS NOW (ok, ok, I’ll stop shouting but that is from their logo) has an exclusive story about a 34 year old Realtor, Kirsten Sharp from Kona Hawaii, who was detained by the FBI for interfering with a flight attendant on a budget airline, Allegiant flight. Witnesses are saying that Ms. Sharp used an e-cigarette […]

Dahlings, the Daily Mail tells me that in 2015, there were 34 Gold coast drownings and 29 shark attacks throughout Australia. Stinger Season, Ocean Rips and Crocodiles pose risks across the nation. Oh. My. Gawd. Let’s send a telex or a paprus runner to Dame Edna to cancel our plans to go to Australia. As if it is […]

Dahlings, A Virgin Atlantic plane was getting a push out of it’s gate in JFK, when it’s wing tip hit a wall. Flight 26, scheduled for departure at 8:30 am, unsurprisingly gets cancelled. Were any passengers hurt Cleo you may ask? None but it did however, delay 226 passengers since they are not many transatlantic flights in […]

Dahlings, you have to hand it to the Chinese. When some 100 or so Chinese nationals got a 10 hour delay by Orient Thai Airlines, they refused to board plane, demanded a public apology, demanded compensation and insisted the airline use a ‘larger’ plane to fly them home. In a rebel style so uncharacteristic of the normally […]

Dahlings, it seems those Parisians ‘ave bin at it again. They are on strike you mean Cleo? No, not on strike but someone has vandalized so called works of art that are associated with yer bits and bobs. Previously it was “The Tree” which looked to everyone as a Butt Plug, was punctured by an […]

Dahlings, What is it with some teenagers when it come to air travel? Back in July, we had 16 year old James McElvar (see my post) who didn’t want to pay for carry on luggage so wore four layers of clothes. He then blacked out on the plane due to heat exhaustion. Now I hear […]

Dahlings, after all these planes making emergency landing due to hail, another flight by UK’s EasyJet on the way from London to Turkey had to make an emergency landing in Milan, Italy. The reason being it was damaged by a champagne cork. One couple had ordered a bottle of champagne and after the flight attendant opened it, […]

Dahlings, I had a good old hearty laugh after reading about the wax works exhibits in Sichaun, China which looked nothing like the originals. The set of hideously ugly ‘celebrity’ wax models at Huaying Mountain Wax Museum is garnering widespread ridicule from the Chinese public, reported People’s Daily Online. In fact, some celebrities are said to […]

Darlings, last year almost to the day, I wrote about UK budget airline Jet2 where a promotion to give out free air tickets caused a massive brawl instead. [See Fight Club Class] This time the story Jet2 is in the news with a passenger who had his ear bitten off while flying from Newcastle to Ibiza. It […]

Dahlings, yet another pop star wanna be, James McElvar from ‘boyband’ REWIND, passed out on an EasyJet flight and violently threw up on board. An ambulance was called and after treatment, McElvar thankfully turned out ok. The EasyJet was going from Stanstead to Jimmy’s home town of Glasgow. This story was absolutely shocking in that it […]

Dahlings, Did any of you see that Middle Eastern TV prank where Paris Hilton was on a plane that was about to crash? To save you watching it, Paris freaked out where she understandably did not want to die and when it was finally revealed it was a prank, she was visibly upset. A few days later, it was […]

Dahlings, Have you heard the scandal about Kate, the model aboard an EasyJet flight? I refer not to Kim K’s new step mom who graced Vanity Fair, but Kate Moss the super model who according to the Daily Mail, was met by Bedfordshire Constabulary upon landing in Luton Airport. Apparently Ms Moss was reported as being rather […]

Dahlings, as it the poor Parisians haven’t suffered enough for the art, someone decides to place a sculpture of Marie Antoniette’s hooty hoo (source Daily Mail) in the middle of Versailles Palace. Not surprisingly, some locals are not impressed. The British artist, Anish Kapoors, appartently said that his giant, 60-metre long rusty metal funnel represents ‘a […]

Dahlings- My favorite Ex-Executive has been let out from Prison. Heather Cho is free. The Appeals Court reduced her sentence to two years suspension and she is now free. Flight Attendants beware. Ciao for now, Cleo  

Dahlings, Those Frenchy Eiffel tower workers are out on strike again. This time it is not a solidarity strike but it is a protest. The cause of the protest….Pickpockets. Yes, you read that correct. They didn”t open friday to protest against the rise of petty crime around the tower. In 2012, Louvre workers went out […]

Dahlings, I am sure most of us Roamans have taken a nap on a plane or a train. That nap, is not without it’s perils. One of my dear friends, Whittikus, would regularly fall to sleep on the train when coming back from Londinium. While asleep, a fellow passenger relieved him of his laptop bag. Twice this happened and while his […]

Dahlings, It’s a double whammy to the stereotype Australian lifestyle. First Quantas enforces a Business Smart dress code for it’s lounges and now Indonesian Politicians are looking at banning beverages that contain more than 1% alcohol. [What’s Indonesia got to do with Australia, Cleo?] The answer is the island of Bali, dahlings. You see, Bali […]

Dahlings, strewth. Seems like those Aussies are chundering over Qantas’ decision to have a ‘smart casual’ dress code for it’s business and club lounges. “Singlets, bare feet, rubber thongs and clothing with offensive images or slogans are, in most cases, likely to be deemed unacceptable,” said Qantas. Bloody Hell. I never thought I’d see this from a […]

Dahlings, My dear friend Rich has big plans to expand his Virgin Empire where the inaugural flight took place to fly from Atlanta to Manchester. However, getting back to Atlanta proved to be a bit tricky due to involvement of the Manchester Airport Fire service. They had one task to do and that was to […]

Dahlings, it is story that refuses to die. Am I going to tell you a beautiful life story of someone overcomes adversity to prevail against all odds? Heck no. I intend to talk about “Nutrage” fiasco. Heather Cho is still in jail so what can be new? From the BBC, the latest is that that flight attendant who initiated […]

Dahlings, Yet more air rage and I ask myself Why can’t we all fly in peace? Well thank gawd we don’t as I’d have less to laugh about ! This time the story is..how do I put it so that the delicate ears of Augustus can be protected, about an alternative actress, Tory Lane who was arrested […]

Dahlings, Just as I finished telling you about Gobbler’s Knob, there is another story about Groundhog day. This time it is in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin, where apparently, word must have got around Rodent community about dangers of Mayors and their murderous handling. From the DailyMail. A mayor in Wisconsin has learned a valuable lesson about […]

Dahlings, Feb 2nd is Groundhog day at Gobbler’s Knob* PA , a tradition that has been going on since 1887. Since Punxsutawney Phil saw his own shadow this year, six more weeks of winter is the prediction. According to AccuWeather, it says Phil and his ancestors has an 80 percent accuracy rate. More accurate than the recent NY National weather […]

Dahlings, Julius showed me an email he got from a company he uses called Harry’s Razors.  Harry’s are promoting a limited edition razor handle that is themed around outdoors life of climbing, shooting and camping. How butch. The razors are named after a famous adventurer….Jimmy Chin. Tee Hee. How appropriate. Ciao for now, Cleo.

Dahlings, It seems that Delta is trying a new way of improving it’s in flight satisfaction at least with respect to interactions with other passengers. Their idea may take a bit longer to get there but is guaranteed to be one with no air rage from fellow passengers. What is it you ask? Are they […]

Dahlings, if you believe the gossip (like I sometimes do) then it looks like Bill Blassio, Mayor of New York, invoked Royal privilege where after running late for a flight to Puerto Rico, he phoned ahead and had Jet Blue delay the flight for him. From dnainfo.com Notoriously late Mayor Bill de Blasio kept more […]

Dahlings, as I watched the sad public apology by Heather Cho– Ex senior VP of Korea Air Line – who resigned in shame, and was now speaking so quietly there was one thing that I wanted to say to her. “SPEAK UP ! I CAN”T FLIPPING HEAR YOU”.  After all, it is not as if […]

Dahlings, How I laughed when I heard about the case of Heather Cho, the Executive Vice President of Korean Air, who had nut rage after she was served macadamia nuts by a junior attendant, without asking. The faux pas was that per KAL’s rules, passengers must be asked first before serving. Some papers are even saying she […]

Dahlings, As I was waiting for thanksgiving dinner around Augustus’ house, I heard some tittle tattle from some fellow guests about a passenger on South African’ Mango Airline who caused some watery trouble during take off. Later on and being bored with the guests who were now talking about some talentless Tart wishing to destroy the internet, I made some excuse […]

Dahlings, my friend Dolores O'Riordan has caused a stir on board a Aer Lingus plane from JFK to Shannon. Turns out she is accused of assaulting a flight attendant causing a fractured foot. Dolly was arrested upon arrival in Shannon and reportedly headbutted a Garda officer. You may know Dolly as the lead singer from her band, "The Cranberries". [...]

Dahlings, Augustus sent me this picture that he had taken in the library of Blenheim Palace. His presumption was that this was another contemporary art exhibit by Ai Weiwei. Looking at this, I would have called this “Yellow pages 2014”.. Letting your finger do the walking talking. At least I think it was Mr Weiwei as I […]

Dahlings, well that didn’t last long. I refer to the contemporary art piece of work called “Tree” that looked like a thingy – see our previous post. It turns out some Parisians who were upset that it ‘humiliated the city’, vandalized the so called piece of Art at night. [Source Daily Mail]. The same artist […]

Dahlings, French maybe the language of love butt those Frenchies are ‘ow do I say it, sex maniacs. In the Place Vendome in Paris, US artist Paul McCarthy has put up a 24ft inflatable green Christmas tree. It is simply titled “Tree”. Except it looks like a thingy. You know a thingy that you insert in your uhm.. […]

Dahlings, After sneezing on US Airways Flight 845 from Philedelphia to Punta Cana, a man allegedly joked to seatmates “I have Ebola. You’re all screwed”. Everybody laughed heartily and that was the end of that. Oh wait a minute, I think I got something wrong. What actually happened was that the plane was met in Punta Cana […]

Dahlings, What is going on with all these airlines kicking off passengers after their unfavorable twitterings? First it was Southwest, now it is JetBlue who kicked off a passenger, Lisa Carter-Knight for commenting about the delay after the pilot subjected himself to a sobriety test after another passenger had made a wise crack about him being at […]

Dahlings:  In a link to the Ebola outbreak, NPR article “Some Airports Have A New Security Routine: Taking Your Temperature” reviews different methods of screening people running temperatures. Those who have flown through Asia are familiar with such remote checks for Bird  or Swine Flu. The NPR postscript should leave you very scared. There is one way of […]

Dahlings, Mariott Hotels are placing envelopes in rooms to tactfully remind you to tip the person who cleans your hotel room. What splendid Chutzpah, Bill!  Emotionally blackmail your guests to compensate for you paying your workesr lsuch ow wages. I admire it. Others however do not: “It is not Marriott’s responsibility to remind customers to tip; it’s their […]

Dahlings, I wonder if the people who did these two things were related? Left picture: Someone in MA had this hand drawn licence plate on their car thinking the PoPo wouldn't notice. Right picture: A well meaning 80 year old dear in Spain who on her old initiative, repaired an historic Fresco. Both sound like things my modern day [...]

Dahlings, what is up with the air rage these days. It is like a script to a bad horror movie where normal passive passengers go mad over the slightest things. Hitting the chatternet was the story of a third flight diverted after a cat fight over reclining seat. From the WaPo story: The unhappy passenger [..]had been trying to […]

Dahlings, two young women caused so much mayhem with their drunken antics aboard a Sunwig flight to Cuba, that it returned back to its origin of Toronto. It was viewed as being so serious, that NORAD requested fighter escorts. Milana Muzikante, 26, and Lilia Ratmanski, 25, allegedly drank a “significant quantity” of alcohol in the airplane […]

Dahlings, two passengers got into a pretty big kerfuffle aboard a United flight from Newark to Denver. What is the cause of the war? A drunken brawl by lovers – no. A heated discussion about politics or religion – nope. It was something more horrific: The male passenger in row 12 prevented the woman passenger in row 11 […]

Dahlings, budget airline Jet2.com decided to have a promotion in Derby, England and give out free tickets. What a marvelous idea. Except the marvelous idea crashed and burned as it quickly turned into a mass brawl of  people “desperately” fighting each other to get such free tickets. From the BBC news: People in Derby chased young women […]

Dahlings, it seems like our Iberian friends are not only complaining about S&M hotels but the bawdiness of their visitors. In Barcelona, there were local protests after some Italians tourists ran around naked for 3 hours without the police doing anything. A photographer from El-Pais, Vincens Forner captured them ‘in flagrante delicto‘. From the Guardian “The tipping […]

Dahlings, Dubai Government officials thought they had met they devil incarnate when the encountered Rolf Buchholz. So being like any rational Goverment Official, they refused him entry into the country. From BBC news: The 53-year-old German has 453 piercings on his body and face, as well as two horn implants on his forehead. Mr Buchholz told the BBC […]

Dahlings, looks like the big Apple is clamping down on some worms where it is proposing legislation to licence the people who dress as cartoon characters in order to hustle tourists for pictures in Times Square. But what about real life Batman or Spiderman ? Surely, they be consulted as they operate in Gotham City. I […]

Dahlings, I LOL’d after reading  about  a S&M hotel in Spain being delayed by local opposition. From the Telegraph: The hotel, due to include 20 S&M-themed rooms and a dungeon, was preparing to open last week in a village of 2,500 residents in Valencia, but was prevented from doing so after the mayor of “quiet” Vilafranca, complained. […]

Dahlings, Delta kicked 72 year old Suzzane Hays, off a connecting flight after a fellow passenger complained that she looked ill. The poor dear has already flown in from Ohio and was on her way to Orlando. From the article Before Flight 19 would depart from Detroit to Orlando, there was a problem. Hays said a […]

Dahlings, Bloomberg had a story about the Chinese tourists who have this ideal image about France and when they actually visit , they have a rude awakening about the place. Complaints include stolen bags at the airport, dirty streets and targeting of Chinese by pickpockets. Like their Japanese counterparts, first-time visitors from China — fed on media reports and […]

Dahlings, it looks as if my friend Queen Betty of Union Jackland had to slum it the other week. Turns outs that her Maj delayed moving back to Balmoral for one week in order to allow more tourists to visit her Scottish country pad to get more pounds into the Royal coffers. With her advert on […]

Dahlings, Reddit is again making news as the source for news. The other week, it was the source for rather upset wife posting a spreadsheet compiled by her husband, documenting why they have not being doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel. Not only that, but he showed a cold streak in him […]

Dahlings, It is not just US Government workers who have problems with names. UK’s Home office has passport Office has rejected one applicant for a passport renewal after the person had changed her name by deed poll to “Laura Elizabeth Skywalker Matthews”. It turns out they don’t accept names that are trademarks ! From The Independent: “We have a […]

Dahlings, a Big Ewwwwwwwwww. Why did I read this before going to bed? I refer to a story from our favorite love to hate rag, the Daily Mail. Airline passengers kick up a stink on Delta flight from Beijing to Detroit after Chinese family let toddler poop on his seat Incident occurred on Delta Airlines flight when family laid […]

Dahlings, the characters in Roam’s Palatine hill laughed heartily when we heard the story of airbnb’s re-designed logo. (For those who do not know, Airbnb is a website where you can book individual rooms in someones house or even on a couch.) So why did we titter so ?  If you read some of the original internet […]

Dahlings, here is an example of the main story in the Philippines during my time over there that I was wrote about earlier. Unless you knew this was a person, you’d wonder what was going on in such a conservative country. Now if this was a Denver newspaper, this headline would probably be under the business […]

Smuggled Garlic crushed Delicious longganisa served for breakfast Imelda the prophet Dahlings, During my trip in Philippines, I got to do something that reminded of times of old - I read the paper versions of the newspapers that were delivered daily to my room. Since I had quite a few moments of no connections, I took [...]

Dahlings, on the US final leg of our return Asia trip, our plane was stuck on the tarmac at DRT waiting for a take off slot. One hour later, the pilot announced that we were number 9 in line. We had no explanation about the delay but that was the end of the good news. […]

Dahlings, I was distraught to read the warning label on the Delta’s vegetarian caviar known by the Plebeians as “Peanuts”. It turns out the peanuts were produced in a facility that processes…peanuts. Ciao for now, Cleo.  

Dahlings, I got a kick out of this. This “Firearms” rule has to be one of the strangest for any accommodation establishment that I have stayed in. Cleo was going to complain about it as it is rulerist – Dahlings, I AM a Roam’n Emperor and in my prior gig, Queen of Egypt etc which is […]

Dahlings, I was tickled pink hearing about the dress code of Baguio Country Club where I am staying. I have never heard of a “No Rubber Slippers” rule. Not only that but it  rule that says “we don’t care about who you are, the brand or how much it cost you” ! I just love […]

Dahlings, little did I know that I would be following on to my prior article so soon:  the one about a demon attacking an aircraft engine mid flight and the traveler going out of his mind. Cleo is in Philippines and traveling with a colleague from Manila to our final destination of Baguio city. A car driver was there […]

Dahlings, Tomorrow I must endure a long haul flight. Being the minx that I am, I have previously joked about the “Twightlight Zone” movie and the gremlin on the wing tearing up the engine, but only one passenger can see it. The passenger who eventually goes crazy, was played by a much younger John Lithgow. Nobody in my entourage remembered it […]

Dahlings, So the Prince Of Wales flew coach on his way from Memphis to Dallas. It is a mistake any blue blooded person could make.  The poor boy: a simple misunderstanding between American English and British English. Let me explain: British: COACH: A means of luxurious transport attached to horses with a driver called a coachman. Often […]