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Roachella Festival: Plenty of Smoke with no Fyre

Dahlings, the Fyre Festival is  the perfect example of why you should NOT believe everything you read over the internet.

In an attempt to capitalize on Coachella, Fyre billed itself as “The best in Food, Art, Music and Adventure” where it positioned itself as a Luxury Music festival is a Bahamas for the young, beautiful and rich. It was promoted by the likes of Nobel prize winner Bella Hadid, Poet Laurette Emily Ratajkowski, Rocket Scientist Alessandra Ambrosio, Inventor of the cold Fusion Hailey Baldwin and last but not least, Mother Terressa II, Joan Smalls. Oh wait, I got that wrong. They are not role models but the more mundane type of model so prized by modern society.

With VIP treatment running into the $10K’s, Fyre Festival turned out to be an outright VIP disaster! The whole event looks like one big scam with nothing and I mean nothing, going to plan. In the end it was cancelled leaving some folks stranded at the airport in Miami and perhaps, they were the lucky ones.

Let’s say you had spent $13,000 for a package that apparently included flights, ocean views and gourmet food what did you get? Continue reading..

Holy Week: Let’s cross that off my list

#maleldo2016 #cutud #lenten2016 #iskonggala #lakwatsero #crucifixionph

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Dahlings, This week is Holy week (Easter to the rest of the Christian world) to my Philippine friends which is THE biggest holiday in their calendar. It is so big, some of them turn up their piety to a eleven or even a twelve. A few even volunteer to be crucified with some doing it every year becoming minor celebrities.

Some years back, the Philippines Government sorta said ‘Crucifixation is bad ok. We don’t want you to be crucifying yourself but if you do, at least get a tetanus shot for health reasons’.

This year, Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) president and Lingayen-Dagupan Archbishop Socrates Villegas has come out a bit stronger and said in a television interview “..the best way to observe Holy Week is by doing charitable works like helping the poor and visiting the sick in hospital.” Continue reading..

Uber Travis goes ballistic shouting is atrocious

Dahlings, somewhat bored with writing about high flying chief executives getting in air rage incidents, I have decided to write about something else.

My next topic is something completely different : it is one about a high flying chief executive in a road rage incident!

The attached video is the CEO of Uber, Travis Kalanick, having an argument with one of his drivers who accused him of ‘ruining his life’ over Uber’s ever changing fare policy. In terms of ‘rage’ (Believe me I’ve seen worse in my previous gig) it was extremely tame but once Bloomberg gets hold of the video taking by the driver, it went viral.

After the bad headlines go around, Travis being the brave man that he is, defended his actions and stood by his words.

Oh wait, I’ve just been informed by my fellow emperor, Julius C, that I made a mistake in the last sentence. What I should have said is the OPPOSITE as a few hours after the video being posted on Bloomberg, Travis issued a trite email [source : npr]

My job as your leader is to lead…and that starts with behaving in a way that makes us all proud. That is not what I did, and it cannot be explained away..It’s clear this video is a reflection of me—and the criticism we’ve received is a stark reminder that I must fundamentally change as a leader and grow up.

What a complete and utter wuss ! Continue reading..

Flybe to the moon

FlyBe airlines : No buttock shots.

Dahlings, I have another tale of someone getting kicked off a flight.

What was it for this time Cleo? It was for taking a picture.  and what’s wrong with that? He took it of a flight attendant. I still don’t get it.  Why was he kicked off for taking a picture of a flight attendant?

It was because he took a picture of her backside with his mobile phone. ..while she was doing the pre-flight safety announcement ! After being asked to remove the pictures, he said he couldn’t so security was called in and off he went.

This all happened on a Flybe flight from Dublin to Cardiff.  From the Irish Independent

“Just before take-off, while staff were going through the safety demonstration, a worker claimed that a man was taking pictures of her. “The individual was asked to remove the pictures.

“He initially refused to, but then said that he wasn’t able to, which is hard to believe. Security staff were then called,” a source said. Airport police were alerted by the crew and the man was taken off the flight, after it had taxied back to the terminal.

A spokesperson for Flybe said: “The matter is now in the hands of the police..

Oh saucy !

Ciao for now,
Cleo.

Giving us a Freudian slip?

The Jung ones

The Jung ones

Dahlings, there is a follow up to my post ‘Making America great..In London” where an artist Illma Gore, painted a nude Donald Trump where it is hanging (or not so hanging if you read the story) in a London art gallery which in turn, has become a tourist attraction. Apparently, it is showing in the UK rather than the US after threats of legal action. The painting itself looks good except for one small detail.

Last week, the artist reported she was punched in the eye by someone who then shouted”TRUMP 2016″.  Yesterday, Ms Gore gave an interview to the UK’s Guardian where she gives her version of the story which sounds mainly credible and also attempts to explain all the anonymous reports to Facebook and ‘calls from Trump’s lawyer’.

Not sure what to make of this story, I’d previously looked into Ms. Gore where she is an “Street” artist from Australia who is a bit of a rebel. In a protest against Tony Abbot position on gay marriage, Illma cycled topless though Brisbane with “My Shirt didn’t match my rights”.  At the time, Illma posted  on her facebook the very profound:

“I got up this morning and made this chick breakfast and instead of thanking me she just said “how did you get in my house” at first I thought I was a sea anemone and then I realised I was a homosexual – I cannot pin point as to whether it was in the utero or even ponder that perhaps I was made this way – after all whom am I to question the wisdom of a greater knowledge?

I know that the world in all of its gloriousness of life, of feeling, of articulation that there is an art of existence and everything we do connotes a metaphysical note in the symphony of life.

Lets move positively further because the future is now and in a moment.

What baffles me is how a human any one human but especially one who wishes to lead our Country to speak for the people can refer to a large part of our nations rights as a ‘fashion’; we are not statistics we are human beings.

There is no such thing as ‘Gay marriage’ it is simply marriage and the right to live a life without being segregated.

In regards Mr Abbotts radical statement “I will not make radical change for the fashion of the moment” I give you a radical response: that today as an artist and as a homosexual I will skate through Brisbane topless and well… I guess today my shirt didn’t match my human rights.”

Outside lesbian cycling protest and obscure facebook postings, I have to say her prior art is very good if you like things on the wild side and there is no doubt, she is talented.

Illma’s original name was Ashley but there is a twist that I was not expecting – Her father was Mike Gore, an Australian property tycoon who was a bit of an Aussie Donald Trump himself. Mike Gore was known for a development known as Sanctuary Cove on the Gold Coast. In 1992, Gore fled to the Canada, leaving the development in receivership where it was owed $45m and he died in 1994 from a heart attack. Here is a film about him prior to all that.

So is this nude painting really about Donald Trump -What would S.F. say?

Ciao for now,
Cleo.

PS: Her half-brother Craig Gore has financial troubles of his own where he is now bankrupt owing $289m- see courrier-Mail.

What’s in a name? Plenty if the airport WIFI is called “Detonation Device”

Sign languageDahlings, it has been such a long time (2 days) since we’ve posted something concerning Australia , so let’s tell give you something to keep you going.

A Quantas flight at Melbourne airport was evacuated after a passenger noted the name of a WiFi hotspot was “Mobile Detonation device”. She naturally notified the flight crew who in turn called in airport security. From UK’s “Daily Telegraph

Security officials checked the plane but were unable to find a threat and cleared the flight to leave.

“The pilot said a particular passenger had gone to log on and a hotspot name has come up with one which was a scare to Qantas and passengers,” a passenger told Channel Seven.

“The pilot made us aware and said they were going to take proper security precautions… After half an hour no one came forward, the Wi-Fi covered a fair distance so [it] could have been someone in the terminal.”

Qantas offered to transfer concerned passengers to alternative flights.

An estimated fifty passengers – about half of those on board – opted to take a different flight.

Not surprisingly, nobody volunteered to be behind the prank. A Quantas spokesman said ‘he believed the scare was caused by “some immature person, possibly in the terminal”’.

So let me put on my serious typing tone and remind you that “Security is not a laughing matter”. I am shocked (not really but I need to say that…) I tell you that someone always spoils it for the rest of them.

At the very least they have attempted to make it a profanity instead but there again, this is Australia and profanities are daily speech in some circles though Australians usually do come up with a different way of naming things (For example, Who else would name a horse “Bill the Bastard“?)

That being said, here are some prior submissions too give you pranksters some ideas:

Some humorous Wi-Fi names that should not cause security alert

Ciao for now,
Cleo.

Terrierists attack Australia

Dahlings, Have you seen Johnny Depps and Amber Heard’s new film?

Is it Caribbean Pirate adventure Cleo? That has some relevance but nope. What about An Alice in Wonderland II? That was a strange movie wasn’t it but nope.

Let me put you out of your misery as I don’t think you are going to get it.

It is a public apology ! Mrs Depp was busted for illegally bringing their two pampered mutts into Australia on their private plane.

Australia has strict quarantine laws and Amber attempted to sneak them in by falsely filling out declaration forms. She faced up to 10 years in Prison and at one stage, the dogs – Pistol and Boo – were threatened with being destroyed if the dogs “didn’t bugger off back to the US“. So why were the visiting Australia, Johnny was filming yet another Pirates in the Caribbean movie.

For the record, if you bring animals into Australia, then they may have to go into a period of quarantine. See Aussie govt site where Australia has a bad history of bringing Animals in which go amok (Look up Rabbits in Australia). Besides, they have enough scary animals – Fauna as well as human- in Australia as it is and don’t want any more scary animals like 5 lb Yorkies.

So back to the video. This heartfelt and sincere apology was received with reverence by the public like this:

Twitter reaction from John Johnson

Or this..

Tweet praising Depp's oscar worthy apology

But saving the best for last is Natalie Tran’s behind the scene take of how it was actually made

So Roamans. When you fill out those Immigration forms, remember to not listen to Nancy Reagan. Just say “Yes”.

Ciao for now,
Cleo.

Making America Great Again..in London

A great game for Short fingered vulgarians

A great game for Short fingered vulgarians.

Dahlings, An LA artist Ilma Gore, has made a picture of Donald Trump and it’s is not in sidewalk chalk. Ah, there’s nice you may say for a fan to paint a picture of their hero.

There’s a bit more to the story than that – she painted him naked.  Yes – starkers; Nude;In his birthday suite; in the nip; Bare bollock naked ! 

Except the Don didn’t pose à la Lucien Freud for Ilma- It was her impression of the Don where the painting is a bit of a political statement and that painting has now been valued at $1m.

The politics to it all is that she has not made Donald’s Johnson Yuuugge but he is featured with a micropenis.  From her Facebook page “My latest painting “Make America Great Again” Because no matter what is in your pants, you can still be a big prick.” Little hands and all that.

Of course Mr Trump has a thick skin and used to taking satire in his stride, so he laughs it off.

Except that last sentence may not be true and in another Freud reference (Sigmund this time), apparently the Trump Legal team have threatened the artist if she sells it in the US.  Google and ebay have de-listed the painting after an anonymous report of copyright violation under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.

Hmm, if she painted it, what copyright violation is that ? But this appears to be war.

Donald Duck yes but what the heck has Donald’s Dick got to do with Travel? Hang on, hang on. I will get there.

You see the painting is being shown in a small London art gallery – the Maddox Gallery – that is outside the jurisdiction (or is that jurisdicktion) of the US and the painting has now become a minor tourist attraction. From their website:

Illma Gore’s Make America Great Again – an 11″X 14″ oil and pastel piece of confident-looking presidential hopeful Donald Trump – is generating international debate and polarising opinions, thanks in part to one small detail…

It is currently on show at the Maddox Gallery in Mayfair, London. The work has been incredibly well received, attracting crowds and even causing queues to form outside the gallery. It is certainly generating positive debate, and the story has captured the imagination of the media worldwide.

The artwork has been banned in certain sectors of the US, removed several times from social media due to a Digital Millennium Copyright Act notice, and removed from eBay. However, the artwork is currently available to view at Maddox Gallery in Mayfair, London.

For those wishing to go there – their address is 9 Maddox Street, Mayfair.  Opening times Monday – Friday between 10am – 6pm and Saturday and Sunday, 11am – 6pm.

Of course the Maddox Gallery is are not being truly altruistic in their motives but are trying to peddle ‘art’ to ‘investors’.

Illma Gore’s piece is just one of many artworks available to view and purchase at Maddox Gallery. Investing in emerging contemporary artists such as Illma Gore can potentially provide huge long-term returns, and investment prices at Maddox Gallery start from as little as £5,000.

Blooming amateurs.Haven’t they learned anything? If they are going to be talking up things they are mis-selling it – It is Yuuuugge not huge.

Your fired !

Ciao for now,
Cleo.

Cha-Cha-Changes: You’re Gro-Gro-Grounded

All was not dandy on an AA flight to Chicago

All was not dandy on an AA flight

Dahlings, I guess being a dedicated follower of fashion through out the day isn’t the thing to do anymore as Mr Jermiah Thede found out when he changed his clothes three times.

Three times – What is wrong with that Cleo?

Well, it’s a bit of a perception problem if you are doing it during a transatlantic flight from Rome to Chicago in plebeian class while you have not been on double secret probation for not behaving yourself. Apparently, Mr Thede had angrily told the American Airline FA he could ‘have all the F’ing peanuts and crackers’ he wanted to. That’s not asking nicely in my book.

From the daily mail:

[The FA] ..claimed Thede had come back to the galley area of the economy section a short time after take-off, when the seat belt sign was on, and asked for peanuts and crackers. He was given the snacks on that occasion but when he returned a short time later, Ms Hall said she told him there was only one snack per passenger. 

Ms Hall claimed Thede became enraged and pointed his finger at her face. ‘I felt like my heart was pounding, that something wasn’t right with him,’ she said. She added: ‘He started shouting at me before I could even finish my sentence.’ 

Asked to characterise his demeanour, Ms Hall said: ‘He seemed extremely angry and it was just not normal behaviour.’ The flight attendant with almost 30 years of experience told the court she expressed concern to the head flight attendant that ‘somebody was going to get hurt’.

And the dirt continues.

The relief pilot, who is legally required to sleep during the first three hours of the flight, described being woken twice and asked to deal with Thede, something that he claims ‘never happens.’ There could potentially be a time bomb on board. Do you want to deal with it on the ground or in the air, given that we were about to coast out?

Complaints included allegedly ‘staring’ at a female passenger and invading her personal space. Thede, who had changed his clothes a number of times and was standing up rummaging through his bag in the overhead bin, had been given three warnings to change his conduct, the court was told.

‘I just felt that the crew members’ duties had been interfered with enough, we were reaching the point there we were coasting out and once you are over the Atlantic there are not a lot of places to land. ‘It’s better to offload this gentleman and continue with this flight.’
The court heard there was no evidence that Thede’s actions were part of a wider distraction plot and shortly after the captain announced the plane was being diverted he appeared to be asleep. 

He was only woken when police officers escorted him off, it was claimed.

The flight had diverted to Belfast where Mr. Thede was booted off and this is where the trial is. The helpfully explains Mr Thede’s clothes:

‘Thede, dressed in a light grey suit and white shirt, listened from the dock as Ms Hall gave evidence.’

What ? He didn’t change 3 times? Shocking behavior.

Perhaps if AA have served Macademia nuts in cups instead of Peanuts, not of this would have happened. See Heather Cho.

Ciao for now,
Cleo

 

 

Giving the people what they want !

Microsoft's Tay release 1.0 : "What the F@#*are you ****** @#$#%^ &^%$# looking at?"

Microsoft’s Tay release 1.0 : “What the F@#*are you ****** @#$#%^ &^%$# looking at?”

Dahlings,  this is week when it showed the limitations of why you should not ask the Plebeians what they want – you may not like the smell of having to deal with them. And no, I don’t that silly election thing with ‘Little Hands / Large Manifesto’ Donald, ‘BusTED’ Cruz, ‘I did not not have textual relations with that server’ Clinton or ‘Eat the rich’ Sanders.

Instead, I refer to two other separate instances of humanity showing it’s true colors this week.

The first was Microsoft shutting it’s online Artificial Intelligence flagship ‘Tay’ less than 24 hours when it began to “tweeted wildly inappropriate and reprehensible words and images” that included support for Hitler and genocide. Oh dear. What had started so loftily,  came crashing down after listening to and learning from human interactions.  I guess those hipsters in Redmond, Washington (a bunch of rich eaters supporters if you go by the result of their recent State caucus, without noticing they those local rich folks such as MS employees may also look pretty tasty on the grill) are too young to remember the lessons from ‘Ed209’ and back before that, HAL9000. This is rapidly getting a bit iClaudius techie nerdy for me but let’s just say it is history repeating itself. Or is it art imitating life ? Or is it life imitating art? Or is it art imitating history? or is it history of art?

ENOUGH !!!!!Either way or whatever is imitating what, the second instance I want to mention is across the pond in Britannia also have their wisdom of the crowds moment where the oiks have been asked to name a boat for NERC – Natural Environment Research Council. And how did that end up you may ask?

I invite you to watch Roads-2-Roam’s first mockumentary based over a monologue by Jon Holmes during BBC Radio 4’s “The Now Show” to find out.

If you can’t watch (if you are work you’re excused ) or can’t be bothered to watch (then you’ll miss out on Holmes’ excellent delivery),  the result was top vote for the ship’s name was as you may have guessed by the title was .. “Boaty McBoatFace”. But that is not the end of the story, the Toffs and the establishment don’t like it.

This adds to a long list of ‘not asking the online public what they think as you may not like the answer’.

  • In 2012, A poll to name a Bratislava bridge “Chuck Norris” was rejected by Slovenian lawmakers. Boo, I would have loved to have seen a hairy bridge. (O.M.G., what did I just type!!)
  • Before that in 2010, a Justin Bieber website polled users as to which country he should tour next, with no restrictions on the nations that could be voted on. The result.. North Korea.

Oh I like that last one. Power to the People. How about this slogan-  “BIEBER, FOR KOREA”. I’ll start up a gofundme for that !

Ciao for Now,
Cleo.

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