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Cleopatra | Roads-2-Roam.com

Author Archives: Cleopatra

Nut$ and bolt$

Dahlings, it is story that refuses to die. Am I going to tell you a beautiful life story of someone overcomes adversity to prevail against all odds?

Heck no. I intend to talk about “Nutrage” fiasco. Heather Cho is still in jail so what can be new?

From the BBC, the latest is that that flight attendant who initiated it all by not understanding Macademia etiquette , is suing Korean Air Lines.

Ms Kim’s civil lawsuit, filed in New York City, is seeking compensation for damage to her career, reputation and emotional wellbeing.

This will be an interesting case as Ms Kim was not the actual person who was booted off the plane: it was her boss, chief purser Park Chang-Jin. He was the one forced to grovel.

There is a clue here.

 They said the airline had not responded to Ms Kim’s attempt to settle her claim privately.

Maybe they will offer some KAL travel vouchers.

Ciao for now,

Flying XXX class

Vintage fun and japes in the travel industry

Vintage fun and japes in the travel industry

Dahlings, Yet more air rage and I ask myself Why can’t we all fly in peace?
Well thank gawd we don’t as I’d have less to laugh about !

This time the story is..how do I put it so that the delicate ears of Augustus can be protected, about an alternative actress, Tory Lane who was arrested at LAX for suspicion of disrupting a flight and fighting with the crew. The actress was charged on battery charges in addition to public intoxication.

Never heard of her? Neither had I although Caligula’s smirk became very big when I read her name.

A little googling introduces me to Tory Lane:

“ToryLane.com is the official website of the dirtiest girl in porn. Tory Lane has no limits as she is the ultimate fantasy of every man who enjoys high-energy sex.”

Oh I am in all of a flutter after reading this: I thought I was the ultimate fantasy.

Investigating some of the movies that Ms. Lane has made, I see one called “When Porn Stars Attack”. No kidding.

A look at her twitter account, shows that her career cannot be that successful.  If she had that much money then surely she would be able to buy more clothes. Poor thing, maybe we should start up a gofundeme campaign.

Feb 15th tweet shows she loves LAX on a Sunday as it accompanied with a picture of a wheat beer. (No fruit I notice)

https://twitter.com/misstorylane/status/567037901939027968 [EDIT 6/5/15 – TWITTER ACCOUNT HAS BEEN DELETED]

Feb 19th, she Tweets ” I need to be FUCKED”

Fast forward to 20th, she was.

Careful what you wish for.
Ciao for now, Cleo.

PS: Feb 21st Ms Lane tweeted “There’s always 2 sides to every story”. After seeing her website and some of  her ‘movies’, I was thinking 2 sides… is that all?

GroundHog Day 2: It will be a bit nippy

The biting truth

The biting truth : copyright channel300.com

Dahlings, Just as I finished telling you about Gobbler’s Knob, there is another story about Groundhog day.

This time it is in Sun Prairie, Wisconsin, where apparently, word must have got around Rodent community about dangers of Mayors and their murderous handling.

From the DailyMail.

A mayor in Wisconsin has learned a valuable lesson about his city’s weather-predicting critter: Don’t get too close.

Jimmy, the official groundhog in Sun Prairie, bit the mayor’s left ear during the 67th Groundhog Day celebration on Monday.

A handler was holding the rodent next to 41-year-old Jonathan Freund’s face when it promptly launched an attack. Footage of the incident shows Freund flinching back and wincing.

Oh dear but it goes to show that Groundhogs are smart creatures. Never trust a politician.

So what about the weather? Sun Prairie Jimmy predicted an early spring . Gobbling Knob Phil on the other hand, predicted a long winter.

Which only goes to show that both kinds of rodents – Groundhogs and politicians – cannot be relied upon for their predictions.

Ciao for now,

Groundhog day : six weeks of more freezing ahead

Feb 2nd Groundhog day.

Dahlings, Feb 2nd is Groundhog day at Gobbler’s Knob* PA , a tradition that has been going on since 1887. Since Punxsutawney Phil saw his own shadow this year, six more weeks of winter is the prediction.

According to AccuWeather, it says Phil and his ancestors has an 80 percent accuracy rate. More accurate than the recent NY National weather forecasters.

It is good to see there is no mention about Phil coming to bodily harm unlike Feb 2nd 2014, where Bill DeBlassio, Mayor of NYC, dropped a groundhog in Staten Island Zoo.

The poor rodent died from injuries and a cover up ensured. First cover up was that it died. The second cover up was that he was really a she which come to think of it in New York, is pretty common.

Staten Island Zoo officials went to great lengths to hide the death from the public — and keep secret the fact that “Chuck” was actually “Charlotte,” a female impostor, sources said Wednesday.

The zoo told a few Staten Island Zoo supporters, but claimed the groundhog died of natural causes.
The stand-in was found dead in her enclosure at the Staten Island Zoo on Feb. 9 — and a necropsy determined she died from “acute internal injuries,” sources said.

She had fallen nearly 6 feet when the mayor lost his grip during the Groundhog Day photo op. Sources said her injuries were consistent with a fall.

Wait a minute. What was the song that in the movie Groundhog day that Bill Murray character would wake up to everyday? Oh yes, it was “I got you Babe”. Bill Dahling, you really should have paid more attention to what Sonny and Cher was telling you.

Ciao for now,

* By the way, if you ever visit Britain, don’t expect to say you’ve visited Gobbler’s Knob without people bursting out laughing. Like your “Fanny”, it will not have the same meaning the other side of the Atlantic.

Taking it on the Chin

When Harry met Jimmy.

When Harry met Jimmy.

Dahlings, Julius showed me an email he got from a company he uses called Harry’s Razors.  Harry’s are promoting a limited edition razor handle that is themed around outdoors life of climbing, shooting and camping. How butch.

The razors are named after a famous adventurer….Jimmy Chin.

Tee Hee. How appropriate.

Ciao for now,

Running on empty: Delta cut down on air rage by flying with 2 passengers

An Empty flight as viewed from the back  row

An Empty flight as viewed from the back row

Dahlings, It seems that Delta is trying a new way of improving it’s in flight satisfaction at least with respect to interactions with other passengers.

Their idea may take a bit longer to get there but is guaranteed to be one with no air rage from fellow passengers.

What is it you ask? Are they going to drug the passengers?

Oh don’t be silly. Delta are too conservative to do this but I would bet it would be something Michael O’Leary of Ryannair would look at to make a buck or two. (Btw, Mick. If you are reading this. Love you. Mwahh!)

No, their model is of course NOT to drug up their passengers but to delay the flight for 11 hours, get most passengers on other flights and then your are left with two or less straggler passengers.

Don’t believe me read this Daily Mail report. Maybe Chris O’Leary, one of the two passengers mentioned, is fact a relative of Mick. A scout for Rynnair perhaps?

As my dearly departed friend Andy Warhol once said during his fifteen minutes of fame, “But I always say, one’s company, two’s a crowd, and three’s a party”.

What a visionary. He could have worked for Delta in their marketing group.

Ciao for Now.

Bill of Wrongs : Mayor of NYC delays a flight in order to get a personal late boarding

Not featuring Bill DeBlassio

Dahlings, if you believe the gossip (like I sometimes do) then it looks like Bill Blassio, Mayor of New York, invoked Royal privilege where after running late for a flight to Puerto Rico, he phoned ahead and had Jet Blue delay the flight for him.

From dnainfo.com

Notoriously late Mayor Bill de Blasio kept more than 100 people waiting at the gate to board a JetBlue flight from JFK Airport to Puerto Rico last month because he was running late and had the plane held for him, DNAinfo New York has learned.

The passengers — including state Comptroller Thomas DiNapoli, City Council Speaker Melissa Mark-Viverito and numerous other lawmakers as well as vacationers — were forced to cool their heels for roughly 20 minutes on Nov. 6 as they waited to board JetBlue Flight #703 for San Juan, where the Somos El Futuro Fall 2014 Conference was being held.

“We started to make our way over to the gate, about a half-hour before the flight was due to board,” a passenger recalled.

“There was a long line, but there was no boarding call and no one knew why. We were saying, ‘Why are we just standing here? The plane is here. We are here. So what’s the holdup?’”

Planes generally begin boarding 30 minutes before scheduled departure. After waiting roughly 20 minutes — nearly 10 minutes before they were due to leave — activity near the security entrance caught their attention.

It was de Blasio and a small entourage of aides, mostly NYPD bodyguards, walking briskly toward them.

“We finally understood why. It was the mayor that was holding us up, of course, and a few people could be heard joking, ‘Late again,’” the passenger said.

“He was walking quite fast, with four or five people, probably security people, and he went straight past everyone onto the plane.”

It is unclear why the mayor was late for the plane, but his NYPD security personnel had to radio the airline security to hold it for him, sources said.

The witness said the mayor and his security personnel were seated first, and then the rest of the passengers were allowed to board the plane.

NYPost add some more details

A JetBlue spokesman denied that the airline held the flight and its more than 100 passengers at the behest of City Hall. “It’s not our policy to hold a flight specifically for a dignitary or VIP,” said the spokesman, Morgan Johnston.

But he conceded planes are sometimes held at the pilot’s discretion.

“Our crew members are trusted to recognize extenuating circumstances, though, and are empowered to bring those to the team for review of potential operation impact,” Johnston added.

“It’s not unheard of for us to take a delay for connecting customers, groups, or simply a customer running late for the last flight of the day.”
Johnston refused to confirm that the mayor’s security detail or his office asked for the delay.

Me thinks that NYPost does not think too highly of King Bill. In the article the mention a previous incident where mayor was late for a Flight 587 memorial (which went down in 20010 and apparently had asked for the service time to be delayed. The NYPOST have even given Bill a nickname : Hizzoner, a corruption of “his Honor”.

You can always rely on a tabloid paper to come up with a solution to a problem so what the Post do?

“The Post gave the mayor a West Elm alarm clock without a snooze button to thoughtfully match the $65,000 in furniture the Brooklyn company provided at no charge to decorate Gracie Mansion”.

Ciao for now, Cleo.

PS: I wonder if Jet Blue will extend such extended check in to Emperors of Roam?


Seoul and Fire (d) : Korean Airline Fires Senior VP over Nutrage abuse

Dahlings, as I watched the sad public apology by Heather ChoEx senior VP of Korea Air Line – who resigned in shame, and was now speaking so quietly there was one thing that I wanted to say to her.

“SPEAK UP ! I CAN”T FLIPPING HEAR YOU”.  After all, it is not as if she is she has never shouted at someone in public before.

Pappa Cho Yang-ho- head of Korean Air – had previously apologized earlier on the same day “as a father and head of Korean Air”.

He called his daughter’s conduct “foolish”, and added: “I beg the people to blame me for the current situation, because everything is my fault… I failed to properly educate my daughter.”

I’m with you on Heather’s education Daddy-0. It seems that instead of doing that Executive MBA from USC and studying under the likes of professor Gregory H. Patton, Heather would have been better off studying history where she may have learned from another Patton – General George S. Patton, ‘Old blood and Guts’ himself – who in 1944, had got himself in the newspapers for slapping soldiers in hospital accusing them of cowardice and had to do a few public apologies.

It seems the Cho family are pretty big on public apologies. Pops had to do some apologizing back in 2000 when he was convicted of tax evasion along with his brother and father for receiving rebates on purchased airplanes.

And would you believe it that Heather’s brother and sister– Walter and Emily – are Vice presidents of Korea Air Lines where Walter is a bad boy wanna be. In 2005, Walt was investigated by the popo for “..pushing an elderly woman who had confronted him about his reckless driving”.

Which leaves us with Emily who we could find no scandal. Nada. Nowt. Not a peep.

Shesh, there’s always one white sheep in the family.

Ciao for now, Cleo

Nut job aboard the Cho Cho plane : Korean Air Line VP goes ballistic after mis-serving of Macademia nuts

Don’t mess with my nuts

Dahlings, How I laughed when I heard about the case of Heather Cho, the Executive Vice President of Korean Air, who had nut rage after she was served macadamia nuts by a junior attendant, without asking.

The faux pas was that per KAL’s rules, passengers must be asked first before serving. Some papers are even saying she was served with the nuts still in a bag ! Gosh.

Heather apparently, was not impressed since she was first class and vented very loudly at the head flight attendant to demonstrate his knowledge of company policy. When he could not do this, she ordered the plane to return to the gate and unceremoniously booted him off.

Except there were a few reasons that this was not such a good idea afterall. The first is that Heather somewhat exceed her authority to order the plane to to return to the gate. Only the Captain could do this and then for emergency reasons. It was also at the busiest airports in the world, JFK returning to the gate potentially inconvenienced the passengers by delaying the flight. Finally, her temper tantrum was heard by other passengers.

Well after that, the press got wind of this. When the story broke, Korean Air’s statement to press where highly apologetic and sympathetic to the unlucky purser. Like hell they did:

The purser didn’t know the company’s procedures and “kept on making up lies and excuses,” Korean Air said in a separate statement late yesterday.

The aircraft had already left the gate at John F. Kennedy International Airport for takeoff on Dec. 5. It took no more than 2 minutes to return to the gate to deplane the crew member, according to the airline. The flight was 11 minutes late when it arrived in Seoul on Dec. 6.

The internet lit up with virtual outrage about the bullying from top management. Even the Korean politicians chimed in, saying that the event on Nation’s flag carrier airline was a major embarrassment to the country. Chairman Cho Yang Ho, Chairman Hanjin Group of companies that includes Korean Air, Hanjin Shipping Co. and Hanjin Transportation Co, apologized for the incident.

And they lived happily every after.

Oh, it almost slipped my mind that Heather is related to Cho Yang Ho. In fact, she is his daughter. That’s right, Heather either rose through the dizzying heights of the ranks in a  male dominated Korean company to become Senior VP on her own merits or benefited from nepotism to land a cushy little number, I am not sure which it could be.

But what did I see today reading the headlines over my frosties? The news that Verucca Salt Ms Cho has resigned.

Cho, 40, had been the vice president for cabin service and catering at the Seoul-based airline. Her father presided over the meeting of directors that accepted her resignation, the carrier said yesterday.

“I apologize to the customers and the public for causing social issues and to those who have been hurt by my actions,” Heather Cho said in the statement. “I will take full responsibility and resign from all my positions.”

Still it could have been worse and modern management is somewhat compassionate. At least she didn’t wait to deplane him the FA 30,000 ft in the air. That would be something Caligula – who you are yet to meet on Roads-2-Roam – would do.

Congratulations Heather, your name will go down in internet travel infamy: I salute The Nut bag lady.

Ciao  for now, Cleo.

Underneath the Mango plane me honey

Mango Airlines

Dahlings, As I was waiting for thanksgiving dinner around Augustus’ house, I heard some tittle tattle from some fellow guests about a passenger on South African’ Mango Airline who caused some watery trouble during take off.

Later on and being bored with the guests who were now talking about some talentless Tart wishing to destroy the internet, I made some excuse to leave and research to Mango story. You see, curiosity had the better of me and I HAD to find out if it was Gérard Depardieu up to his old antics again. [Déjà Depardieu vu time? see  In the event of a water landing..]

However, I was shocked to find out it wasn’t a story about our Gallic Gerry, even though the headline and sub-lines sound just like him.

According to the Daily Mail:

Drunken passenger pulls down trousers and urinates in front of passengers on flight… and is made to clean up mess by cabin crew

  • Indecent act occurred on flight from Port Elizabeth to Johannesburg
  • Man urinated in aircraft galley after asking to use toilet during take-off
  • He was told to wait but decided to relieve himself next to cabin crew
  • Man was forced to return to his seat after swearing at crew
  • Passenger was detained by authorities when the plane landed

The article suggested that the flight was delayed by 2 hours in Port Elizabeth, which may/may not have been a factor (but there I go again, expecting news papers to give facts).

Another internet source had a statement by Mango spokesperson Hein Kaiser.

“When the commander of a flight advises travellers to fasten their seatbelts, it is for good reason and is standard operating procedure on airlines the world over,” said Kaiser.

He said all the man had to do, if he was desperate to pee, was ask.

“In rare instances, when a traveller’s need for the lavatory is immediate and the urgency occurs during turbulent conditions, the captain may permit use of the ablution facilities.”

What the heck is “ablution factilities”?

I have not heard this word in this manner before. I always thought ablution was the act of washing oneself in a religious context. It turns our that in Urban dictionaries, ablutions’ is Army slang for ‘washing facilities’ or ‘toilets’.

Ah Ha ! Perhaps it was all a simple misunderstanding of vocabulary.

My old friends George and Ira had a song that fits this situation:

You say Tomayto and I say Tomato.
You say toilet and I say ablution facility.
Ablution facility
Ablution facility
Lets call the whole thing off. [and call in security..]

By now, after reading everything , my glass of Champagne (that was really Cava but don’t tell Augustus I knew) does not look so appealing.

Hey ho, time for  a Gin and Tonic.

Ciao for now, Cleo.

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