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Cleopatra | Roads-2-Roam.com

Author Archives: Cleopatra

Giving the people what they want !

Microsoft's Tay release 1.0 : "What the F@#*are you ****** @#$#%^ &^%$# looking at?"

Microsoft’s Tay release 1.0 : “What the F@#*are you ****** @#$#%^ &^%$# looking at?”

Dahlings,  this is week when it showed the limitations of why you should not ask the Plebeians what they want – you may not like the smell of having to deal with them. And no, I don’t that silly election thing with ‘Little Hands / Large Manifesto’ Donald, ‘BusTED’ Cruz, ‘I did not not have textual relations with that server’ Clinton or ‘Eat the rich’ Sanders.

Instead, I refer to two other separate instances of humanity showing it’s true colors this week.

The first was Microsoft shutting it’s online Artificial Intelligence flagship ‘Tay’ less than 24 hours when it began to “tweeted wildly inappropriate and reprehensible words and images” that included support for Hitler and genocide. Oh dear. What had started so loftily,  came crashing down after listening to and learning from human interactions.  I guess those hipsters in Redmond, Washington (a bunch of rich eaters supporters if you go by the result of their recent State caucus, without noticing they those local rich folks such as MS employees may also look pretty tasty on the grill) are too young to remember the lessons from ‘Ed209’ and back before that, HAL9000. This is rapidly getting a bit iClaudius techie nerdy for me but let’s just say it is history repeating itself. Or is it art imitating life ? Or is it life imitating art? Or is it art imitating history? or is it history of art?

ENOUGH !!!!!Either way or whatever is imitating what, the second instance I want to mention is across the pond in Britannia also have their wisdom of the crowds moment where the oiks have been asked to name a boat for NERC – Natural Environment Research Council. And how did that end up you may ask?

I invite you to watch Roads-2-Roam’s first mockumentary based over a monologue by Jon Holmes during BBC Radio 4’s “The Now Show” to find out.

If you can’t watch (if you are work you’re excused ) or can’t be bothered to watch (then you’ll miss out on Holmes’ excellent delivery),  the result was top vote for the ship’s name was as you may have guessed by the title was .. “Boaty McBoatFace”. But that is not the end of the story, the Toffs and the establishment don’t like it.

This adds to a long list of ‘not asking the online public what they think as you may not like the answer’.

  • In 2012, A poll to name a Bratislava bridge “Chuck Norris” was rejected by Slovenian lawmakers. Boo, I would have loved to have seen a hairy bridge. (O.M.G., what did I just type!!)
  • Before that in 2010, a Justin Bieber website polled users as to which country he should tour next, with no restrictions on the nations that could be voted on. The result.. North Korea.

Oh I like that last one. Power to the People. How about this slogan-  “BIEBER, FOR KOREA”. I’ll start up a gofundme for that !

Ciao for Now,

Somewhere uber the rainbow


Left: Rider Uber icon. Right: Partner Uber icon

Dahlings, Back on 2nd February, those sharing revolutionaries Uber changed their  flag logo. From a “U”, it is now a square-dot-plus-squiggle that communicates the meaning of Uber.

What the heck – this looks almost like the hieroglyphics I used a few centuries before texting was invented. It is a clear as their fare policy.

From a complete puff piece by wired:

The company updated its logo, and new rider- and partner-app icons reflect the individuality of Uber’s local markets. In place of black, gray, and blue, Uber is embracing bright colors, and lots of them. Each of 65 launch countries will receive a toolbox of new brand assets that include tailored colors and patterns, new midcentury modern illustrations, and guidelines for photography. Uber hopes to develop a more flexible brand that can grow with the company as it develops new products and attracts new customers.

The story of how Kalanick and his design team came to replace the ubiquitous “U” logo is about more than a corporate re-branding effort. It’s a coming-of-age tale. It’s about Uber’s attempt to transform its purpose and cement a new reputation—to change not only how it is perceived throughout the world, but how it perceives itself.

Ok, Travis. Really- A coming of Age tale? When I think of ‘coming of Age’ tales I think more about movies like “Dazed and Confused” but that is a good way to summarize these logos. And there’s more to this story. Continue reading..

Cranberries and nuts

Up there with Caligula - Dolores O'Riordan

Up there with Caligula – Dolores O’Riordan

Dahlings, I am sure you’ve all been waiting to find out what happened to our friend Dotty, from the Cranberries and her tête–à–tête incident with the Police at Shannon’s airport.

Let me put you out of your misery.  From the Daily Mail

“Dolores O’Riordan was fined 6,000 euro (£4,690) for head-butting and spitting on a police officer following an alleged air rage incident.


The singer, who was diagnosed as suffering bipolar disorder after the incident, admitted four offences including three assaults and obstructing a garda.  As she was being arrested, the 44-year-old The Voice of Ireland judge told officers that she was an ‘icon’ and the Queen of Limerick.

Oh my. Queen of Limerick? Ok then, a Limerick in your honor you highness.

There was a girl called O’Riordan,

who flew from New York to the Shann’n

Up in flight,

she caused a big fight,

but was let off with a fine of 6 thousan’..

I’m a poet. And I didn’t even know it.

Ciao for now,

The Drive through hotel checkout

Dahlings, Have a dispute about your hotel bill? Maybe you should go down to the front desk and dispute it but the advice to get it resolved is remember to keep it civil.

Tell that to John Parsley who after apparently having his card being declined twice, he drove his pickup through the hotel lobby narrowly missing the front desk employees.


The hotel was the Alva Comfort Inn and Suites in Oklahoma. The driver was John Parsley, 62, of Gonzales, Texas, faces two felony counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and one count of malicious injury to property over $1,000. Enidnews has the best details:

“We are No. 1 on TripAdviser, and we don’t have angry guests,” Christian said. “We make sure our guests are happy, but, this person, he was difficult to talk to and wouldn’t listen. He purposely drove through to kill front desk staff.”

In an interview with police, Parsley said he drove into the hotel because, “they thought he was bluffing, and he proved he wasn’t,” according to the report.

Number 1 on TripAdviser they say?

One review of Alva Comfort Inn and Suites

A review of Alva Comfort Inn and Suites

How more upscale can you get?

Road rage, air rage, now hotel rage : the march of humanity. Time for some Brawndo.

Ciao for now,

Frequent Fight downgrade

Aldo and McGregor

Pugilists Aldo and McGregor demonstrate JetBlue’s new in flight entertainment system.

Dahlings, a recent JetBlue airline was turned around 25 minutes into the flight. The reason was a fight between two passengers.

Oh what’s so special about that Cleo as it seems to happen pretty regular these days?

Well they were a bunch of Irish men.

So, isn’t that a bit stereotypical?

I should mention that they were on their way to Vegas.

Hmm. But they were on their way TO Vegas not coming from it.

..Yes that’s correct. They were part of a big crowd traveling to support fellow Irishman Conor McGregor in the upcoming MMA match against Jose Aldo this coming Saturday.

Ah makes a bit of sense now.

But wait there is more. I almost forgot about an Irish prior passenger being kicked off for interrupting the safety announcements by singing which then delayed the flight quite a bit since the result was they missed the take off slot.

This is a beautiful story so I’ll let passenger Damien Coyne tell it.


Speaking to MailOnline about the fight on board, Mr Coyne said he was ’embarrassed and angry’ over the incident that saw the plane return to New York. He also spoke of how the flight was already delayed out of The Big Apple when one man was removed because he kept interrupting the safety briefing.

‘I’m sitting in between a group of Americans on the flight and I heard them stereotyping the Irish when all of the drunken Irish lads got on.

‘I was angry listening to them talking about us in that way, then these two separate incidents happened and it’s these types of situations which do us no favours around the world.’

Mr Coyne, who lives in Kildare in Ireland, shared details of the incidents on Facebook. ‘These other two Irish lads start kicking off at each other,’ he wrote.

‘Got very heated and one guy despite everyone on the plane shouting at him to sit down, struck out and threw a few slaps at the other lad. ‘Flight crew go mad, separate the two fellas and now we are on our way back to JFK again.’

Mr Coyne alleges that the two men were ‘drunk’ and says that they ruined it for ‘themselves and for everybody else.

‘Moral of the story here lads, drink by all means and have a good time. But know the one that’s too many, and look out for each other.’

Yes Damien. There’s always one who ruins it for everyone else. Or maybe two. Wait make that three just like a clover leaf.


Ciao for now,

The Cemetery of Negativism sucks

Cemetery of Negativism : Camp John Hey, Baguio City

Cemetery of Negativism : Camp John Hey, Baguio City

As I took a Saturday walk around my hotel at Camp John Hays, I spotted a sign which said “Cemetery of Negativism”.

Cleo, you’ve got to see that I said you myself so up I climbed a horrible hill in hot humid conditions which brought me to the old Governor’s house. 60 pesos later, I am in the grounds looking around.

I eventually find the Cemetery and I am looking at the tombstones of cliches. What is ironic is that many of the plastic figures that are supposed to be there – for example on “It’s not possible” – had corroded away. How funny is that?

Anyhow, curiosity had killed my cat and I headed back off the my hotel for a shower.

My verdict of Cemetery of Negativism: A Load of rubbish  !

Hmm, I wonder if two negatives make a positive review..

Ciao for now,

PS: On the way back, I spied a baby statue of Liberty. And just like the one in New York City, cannot be freely accessed.


Kat me if you can

Dahlings, I’m just looking at my photographs from my Philippines jaunt. On the final flight back it was Hello Kitty on Steroids. The flight over just had graphics on the outside.

As you can see. Hello Kitty Seats, food, Attendants and even in the restroom, there was no escaping it just like you said Caligula. I loved it.

Ciao for now,

Lando hope and glory: Memoirs of a Super Typhoon

Cleopatra's emergency rations

my emergency preparations for Lando.

Dahlings, I know you’ve all been worried sick about me so I should update you on my little business trip in the Philippines. It turned out that the others who were flying to meet me, bailed on me after looking at the weather alert. Something about a Super-typhoon being one of the worst ever made them change their mind.

So there I was. Jilted at the altar hotel due a major storm heading my way and staying in the city that was projected to be an epicenter for 40+ inches of rain.

I naturally called up my local work colleagues as asked I should get back to Manila in order not to be stuck here in the aftermath. “Oh no, it will not be that bad. You should still visit us on Monday. Roads will be driveable on Tuesday.”, they cheerfully said.

Being a bit skeptical, I decided to stay since I had come all that way and may as well get something out of it. Decision made: I would have a short meeting on Monday morning and be on the road by lunchtime and even get back 1 day earlier than planned.

Saturday I bought a weather jacket and stocked up with essentials in case of power outage in my mini-bar:- see my picture. Saturday night the rain started and on Sunday, the strong winds came. By evening it had stopped. I had survived my first typhoon. Nothing to it.

Except it started again Monday morning and got progressively worse. Continue reading..

Where and who’s Lando?

Who's Lando?

Who’s Lando?

Dahlings, it seems the only time I read a paper version of a newspaper is when I eat breakfast in hotels.

So what did the Philippine Star have to say on Oct 15th while I munched away my cornflakes.

I tittered so over the headline”Mirian picks Bongbong” which is as I said last year, not some reference to some stoner activity but the nickname of someone. Politicians do love their Bongs.

Next article, I look up to the top left and spit out my tea. There is a flippin’ Typhon heading towards North Luzon for Monday. Where am I going to be on Monday? North Luzon.

Expecting it to be sunny weather per weather forecast from a few days ago, I haven’t even brought a jacket.

Typhoon Lando (international name Koppu) intensified as Public Storm Warning Signal No. 3 was raised over northern Aurora, Quirino, and Isabela, weather service PAGASA.

So where is Lando going to make Landfall?  Oh crapola, very near me. Not only but it is going to be an usual storm in that it is going to be slow moving and so will dump a lot of rain. Looks like my plans to leave on Tuesday may be in jeopardy as we can expect a lot of damage.

Where's Lando? Path of the Typhon

Where’s Lando? Path of the Typhon

Even if I get to Manila, my flight was to going to Taiwan which may get the remains of this in a few days.

Oh the joys of travel.

Ciao for now,

EVA fall in love with someone

Cleopatra's Hello Kitty experience

Cleopatra’s Hello Kitty experience

Dahlings, I am roaming in The Philippines to conduct some biz.

And just for the heck of it – and to annoy Caligula – I flew EVA AIR.  While outgoing flight was regular one, the connecting flight was a “Hello Kitty” theme.

Actually, we all know I am not THAT shallow. I chose the airline for price – it was almost 50% cheaper than what United were offering – and time – EVA was one of the quickest to get to Manila from Houston.

It was my first time time flying EVA and was impressed.  I was expecting bare bones budget but what I got was equivalent or better that what I get on United. The FAs were keen, attentive and friendly. My food was presented well and for airline food, tasty and a bit spicy. As for leg room, I didn’t feel too cramped like I usually do when flying United and the plane was new and well kept. The In flight entertainment was ok but nothing to rave over but there again, I have given up relying on airlines to entertain me. I plan on being unimpressed and bring along my own media which in this case, was an audiobook. Continue reading..