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Monthly Archives: September 2015

Hawaii Five oh !

Kirsten looking very Sharp !

Kirsten looking very Sharp !

Dahlings, HAWAII NEWS NOW (ok, ok, I’ll stop shouting but that is from their logo) has an exclusive story about a 34 year old Realtor, Kirsten Sharp from Kona Hawaii, who was detained by the FBI for interfering with a flight attendant on a budget airline, Allegiant flight.

Witnesses are saying that Ms. Sharp used an e-cigarette as she entered the aircraft in Las Vegas, and an FA told her to put it out, which she did.

After take off, the same witnesses said Kirsten started vaping again in the front seat and was again told by the FA to put it out. She later crept off into the lav for a secret puff. Continue reading..

After Dismaland, a big thanksy to Banksy

Dismaland - just a memory (or a nightmare) now. Copyright PA

Dismaland – just a memory (or a nightmare) now. Copyright PA

Oi Roamans, my mate Banksy’s “Dismaland” was a phenomenal success. Tonight was the last night and Dismaland exhibit has brought in at least $20m unexpected off-season revenue to Weston Super-Mare. The attendees were 4,000 visitors per day with 500 per day walk up admission with many people staying in the town. Hotels and B&B’s were booked out and even my cousin, the Celt, went there without a ticket but was turned down.

Billed as a “bemusement park” that was the pop-up “family” attraction Dismaland was also positioned as “unsuitable for children”.

Wicked !!!!

I laughed my bollocks off reading all those highfalutin, rooting tooting, ponsy art critics (such as the  NYT) yebering on about this not being true art but that was Banky’s point ! It made you look and think about it so who the heck cares !!

From what I hear, Dismaland will be dismantled and wooden ride made into refuge shelters then shipped to Calais for use by the refugees. Not sure they’d get the original exhibition mate but you know better than me.

Oi, Let’s have a shout ‘awt to the Top Geezer – BANKSYYYYY !

Cali.


 

Related Roads-2-Roams articles

Volkwagen : smoking guns

copyright vectis.co.uk

Roads-2-Roam was waiting for VW’s side of the scandal to make a call but some recent internal news leaks are very compelling against Volkswagen.

Two separate German ‘serious’ newspapers have identified sources that say VW knew about this many years ago but did nothing. They held out until they were busted recently.

Frankfurter Allgemeine Sonntagszeitung (What a name !) suggests that some VW technicians tried to blow the whistle in 2011.

The other newpaper, Bild am Sonntag, goes back even further with a letter from the supplier of the engine controller unit – Bosch – that warned VW back in 2007 not to use their software illegally.

Citing unidentified sources, Bild said Bosch had warned Volkswagen as early as 2007 that its software should only be used in company tests and not for normal driving.

Das Auto. Was ist passiert?

I’m afraid Volkswagen corporate management (Not sure we will feed the unrelated part of VW AG), it is time to feed you to the lions.

Where the bloody hell are you? Not in the water that’s for sure..

How to rile up a Daily Mail reader

How to rile up a Daily Mail reader

Dahlings, the Daily Mail tells me that in 2015, there were 34 Gold coast drownings and 29 shark attacks throughout Australia. Stinger Season, Ocean Rips and Crocodiles pose risks across the nation.

Oh. My. Gawd. Let’s send a telex or a paprus runner to Dame Edna to cancel our plans to go to Australia.

As if it is going to make the DM sound all broadsheet-y, the piece alludes to some reports and figures. I particularly like this one fictbit:

Nearly half of these drownings occurred at beaches and were largely males – at popular spots like Bondi Beach in eastern Sydney, which saw the death of a father-of-two in July last year.

The beach is known for its uncompromising ocean rips – strong currents of water – which drags unsuspecting tourists past their depth and leaves local lifesavers with the task of saving them.

In February 1938 in Bondi, a day that became known as Black Sunday, huge waves and a sudden rip saw 245 people rescued, 35 left unconscious and 5 swimmers dead by accidental drowning.

1938? How contemporary can you be DM Continue reading..

Just a sweet Volkswagen from Transmissional dieselania

Trajan has been keeping us up to date with the VW scandal and at the Emperor’s meeting, he briefed us about Matthias Mueller talking over as CEO where he show us a picture of the new guy.

Jeez, within 2 seconds, Cleopatra wanted his number, if he was available but anyhow back to the topic.

The new CEO of Volkswagen :Matthias Mueller who is obviously muelling things over

The new CEO of Volkswagen :Matthias Mueller who is obviously muelling things over.

When I first saw the picture, I was thinking where have I seen him before?

The fact that he was head of Porsche didn’t mean a thing. Then it hit me. Rocky-from-rocky-horror-picture-show

He is “Rocky” from the Rocky horror show – What a perfect analogy!


Not only that, but we have Susan Saradon singing this song that is so VW emission appropriate. All together now: “..Toucha toucha toucha toucha me, I want to be dirty..”

Nero.

Now is the Winterkorn of our discontent

The front page of the Economist 23rd October edition

The front page of the Economist 23rd October edition

The repercussions of the Volkswagen emissions gets worse by the day. For those not following it:-

  • The CEO, Martin Winterkorn, has resigned just as he was about  to renew his contract for 2 years. He was known as “Mr Quality”. More executives are likely to resign or be fired. The big question remaining is who knew and who sanctioned it.
  • VW Stock market value has plummeted where it has lost 1/3rd of it value in just two days: ~$30B. Expect the stock to go much lower. You’d be foolish to buy with this amount of uncertainty.
  • VW has said that European diesel cars have same software to fool the test.  In terms of impact, Europe has around 11 million out there compared to 1/2 million in the US.
  • The talk remains about criminal charges. US Department of Justice, the EU and Germany prosecutors area all looking into it. Japan and India as also waking up.
  • As predicted,  law firms have started to file class actions lawsuites under the rational that the consumers were duped. Some are also using for the ’emotional distress’ angle. The used car value of Volkwagen diesel cars is a big unknown. Who would want them?
  • There is also likely going to a political fallout in Germany where it is being said that German Government knew about this back in July. VW, whose HQ is in Wolfsburg, are big political players in Germany due to the number of people they employ. The Volkwagon group that includes Porche and Skoda, were gunning for Toyota to be the biggest car manufacturer in the world.
  • The regulators themselves are also coming under scrutiny. Many are asking how they designed and blessed off on these tests and allow each car manufacturer to run the tests themselves. It took a presure group and University in West Virginia to identify this. Regulators (Federal, Californian/ EU) were oblivious.
  • The scandal is dragging BMW into the mess where it is also being reported that while it passed the ICCT test that busted VW, it’s cars are not as clean as their marketing is claiming.
  • Knock on  business effects are also being seen areas from the commodity price for platinum which is used as a catalytic converter to reduce emissions, to the weakening of the Euro.

While Volkswagen has set aside reserves for the US fine, the overall consequential damages may bankrupt them. Even if it doesn’t initially, the brand is trashed.  It looks as if we are seeing the death knoll of “Clean Diesel” for VW as well as other players.  Emissions standards are going to get tighter and performance will drop off. Thus even if they survive, the demand for the product may not be there as people paid a premium for their diesel cars.

There is no good news whatever way you look at it.


Songs for Volkswagon

Augustus asked me to try and cheer all you Volkswagon owners out there who are fegickt over by the diesel cheating scandal. How about this compilation of Volksmusik relating to emission scandal:

  • Whose sorry now : Connie Francis
  • It wasn’t me: Shaggy
  • I’m busted : Ray Charles
  • Puff the magic dragon : Peter, Paul and Mary
  • Lying Eyes : The Eagles
  • Evil ways : Sanata
  • Purple Haze : Jimmy Hendix
  • All I need is the air that I breathe : The Hollies
  • Blowing in the wind : Bob Dylan

And last but not least..

  • Smoking : Boston

Take it away !

Whose Exhaustive research determined VW were blowing smoke?

Secret photographs show VW plans to pass new emissions target

Secret photographs show VW’s plans to pass new emissions target.

In a follow on to “He who smelt it, dealt it“, we found out a bit more on who it was that grassed up Volkswagon cheating in their emission testing on Diesal cars. It was an organization called “ICCT: The International Council of Clean Transportation”. From their website, the mission  statement is:

The International Council on Clean Transportation is an independent nonprofit organization founded to provide first-rate, unbiased research and technical and scientific analysis to environmental regulators. Our mission is to improve the environmental performance and energy efficiency of road, marine, and air transportation, in order to benefit public health and mitigate climate change.

Bloomberg explains the background to how ICCT busted ’em. Continue reading..

Vanity Unfair

The rub after a tug: Flight 26 hits a wall

The rub after a tug: Flight 26 hits a wall. Copyright R.Schlecker / Twitter

Dahlings, A Virgin Atlantic plane was getting a push out of it’s gate in JFK, when it’s wing tip hit a wall.

Flight 26, scheduled for departure at 8:30 am, unsurprisingly gets cancelled.

Were any passengers hurt Cleo you may ask?

None but it did however, delay 226 passengers since they are not many transatlantic flights in the morning. Most fly out in the later afternoon or evening, for a morning landing spot in London.

So that would be the end of the story wouldn’t it. People get delayed by plane mishaps, so there’s no story there is there? Continue reading..

33 chinese tourists blacklisted after not so patriot singing

PLA song and dance troup doing a musical about airport etiquette: "Dude where's my plane"

PLA song and dance troup practicing for their vacation trip where they are learning the art of complaining.

Dahlings, you have to hand it to the Chinese.

When some 100 or so Chinese nationals got a 10 hour delay by Orient Thai Airlines, they refused to board plane, demanded a public apology, demanded compensation and insisted the airline use a ‘larger’ plane to fly them home.

In a rebel style so uncharacteristic of the normally restrained Chinese, they then broke out in song.

Ah, how romantic. Continue reading..